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And when my balls tightened and I shot my semen into her, the freedom flowed through my veins into every cell of my body.
I collapsed on top of her.
Sated.
* * *
I awoke the next morning alone in a strange bed.
Ruby’s bed. It was Sunday, so she wouldn’t have gone to work.
A clock radio on the nightstand said ten o’clock. Ten? I’d slept until ten? That was unheard of.
And then everything came crashing down again. What I’d learned yesterday, and how the world had tumbled down around me. My whole fucking world. My identity. How Joe and Talon had tried to talk to me, to bring me down from my rage. How I’d run out on them. How I’d come to Ruby’s, intent on having it out with her for her involvement.
Instead, I’d nearly raped her.
I raked my fingers through my hair. God, I was still sweaty.
Why hadn’t she stopped me?
Another reason to hate my life.
I still had my jeans and boxers around my thighs. My shirt was still on. Only my boots had been taken off.
Had Ruby even slept here?
I got up and pulled my pants back up. I walked out into her small living area. She was seated on the couch, typing on her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee. I opened my mouth, but no words emerged. What could I say to her?
I hadn’t wanted to hurt her. But I’d been so angry. Still was angry.
I cleared my throat.
She looked up. “Good morning,” she said.
“Good…morning.”
“Coffee’s in the kitchen.”
The kitchen was two steps away, so I helped myself to a cup and then went back to her. “May I sit down?”
“Sure.” She scooted over a bit.
The couch was more like a loveseat. This apartment was so damned small.
“I need to…” I stopped and cleared my throat again. “I need to…apologize.”
“For what?”
“For…taking advantage of you last night.”
“No need. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. Trust me.”
Thank God. “I was just so…”
“So what? Angry? I get that, Ryan. I’m angry too. I’m angry at this whole thing.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re angry? You’re not the one whose life just shattered around him.”
