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I smiled. “I’m sure you’re anxious to be on your way.”
“I am. Very. I never want to come near this island again.” She stood.
“I’ll get your bags, ma’am.” The guard walked into the room and came out with a suitcase and carry-on.
I moved toward Shayna and gave her a hug. “Thanks for talking to me. Please, call me anytime if you need to talk. I’m a great listener.”
“Thank you,” she said through sniffles.
She unclenched from me, and the guard escorted her away.
Ryan came toward me and took my hand.
“You were quiet during all of that,” I said.
“You were doing fine without me.”
I sighed. “I feel so bad for her.”
“I know. But she’ll be okay. She got away.”
I shook my head. “You don’t understand. She’s going to feel guilt. I know what that feels like.”
“And you think I don’t? I was spared the wrath of your father and the others because I got away that day. Because Talon made sure I got away.”
How could I have been so obtuse? Of course Ryan understood. “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. Of course you of all people understand guilt. How do you cope?”
“I just try not to let the guilt eat me alive. I watched it eat Joe alive for the last twenty-five years. He’s only now letting it go, thanks largely to Melanie. Believe me, it affects me. I just don’t let it consume me. I can’t.”
“How do you escape it?”
“Work. Play. All three of us are workaholics, thanks to our father’s indoctrination.”
“Work didn’t keep the guilt away from Jonah.”
“No, it didn’t. Joe has a different personality than I do.”
“He’s prone to depression, like your mother?”
“I think so, yes. Talon too, to a lesser extent.”
“But not you.”
“Not so much. Don’t get me wrong. I feel the guilt. I feel it like an anvil on my chest sometimes. I’ve just learned to focus on other things. Like I said. Work. Play.”
“You’re amazing,” I said. And I meant it. He was whole, and he had every reason in the world not to be.
“You know?” I said. “When I grow up, I want to be just like you.”
Chapter Sixteen
Ryan
I smiled and cupped her cheek. “That’s the best compliment I’ve ever gotten. But you’re all grown up, baby, and I think you’re perfect just the way you are.”
She touched her hand to my cheek, and her caress scorched me. “I mean it. You’re so together, Ryan, despite what you’ve been through. Your brothers know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. You’re known as the most jovial Steel, after all. Nothing in the world could shatter you.”
“Nothing except you.” I stroked her silky cheek.
