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Though my body was sated, my mind whirled. Ryan loved me. He’d said so three times, even though I hadn’t returned his words despite feeling them in the depths of my heart, my soul.
He rolled off of me onto his back so that he was lying beside my prone form. I turned on my side to look at him. His chest was moving up and down rapidly, his body shiny with perspiration, his arm over his forehead, covering his eyes.
What was he thinking? I glanced at his clock on the night table. It was past midnight. Not surprising.
I wanted to go back to my apartment. I was a cop, for God’s sake. I couldn’t let some anonymous text scare me away from my own home. Yet that other part of me—that part that wanted to lose myself in Ryan Steel—didn’t want to leave.
Ryan let out a soft snore. He had fallen asleep.
No way was I going to fall asleep with my mind racing as it was. I would stay here—only because I couldn’t stand the idea of Ryan waking up and finding me gone. I couldn’t do that to him.
I had to work things out, and this was all so new to me that I knew I couldn’t do it on my own.
Tomorrow I would call Melanie and begin therapy. I needed to figure myself out. I needed to be whole for Ryan.
But first, when he woke up, I would tell Ryan Steel that I loved him.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ryan
I woke up, the sheet twisted around my body. “Ruby?”
Damn. My clock showed seven a.m. I had forgotten to set my alarm. I was late getting out to the fields. Where was Ruby?
Fear settled in my gut. Had she gone home? No, she wouldn’t have. She wouldn’t have put herself in danger. I sat up quickly and found my robe. I walked swiftly through the house. “Ruby?”
No answer.
When I got to the kitchen, I noticed Ricky sitting outside the door, on the deck. Then I saw Ruby sitting in the family room. I walked toward the sofa.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey, sleepyhead.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“I figured I’d let you sleep. We were up pretty late last night.”
“I should’ve gotten up two hours ago,” I said.
“I only just got up about fifteen minutes ago. I fed Ricky and let him out, made a pot of coffee. I need to leave pretty soon to get to work on time.”
The thought of her leaving sent a spear through my stomach. Somehow, I had to convince her to move in with me. And that thought brought last night back to the forefront of my mind.
“Baby…”
“What?”
“I’m…sorry.”
“About what?”
“About trying to…fuck you into submission.”
She laughed. She fucking laughed!
“What’s so fucking funny?”
