AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The three of them were in Talon’s office, and Ruby, Mel, and Jade were in the family room having a light lunch I’d prepared for them.
I’d decided not to join them for one reason and one reason only.
I couldn’t face Mel. Not after I’d succumbed and cut myself. I’d tell her eventually. I had to. I needed her help. But I feared if she saw me, she’d see it written all over my face, and I couldn’t risk that in front of Jade and Ruby.
Especially Jade. This was the one secret I kept from her.
I couldn’t tell her. She’d be so disappointed in me, and I couldn’t deal with that. Her friendship and respect meant everything to me.
Bryce was supposed to come by in an hour or so to talk with the guys, so I needed to make myself scarce. I could go into town and hit the gym—one of the few places open on Sundays in a small town—or I could drive to the city and do some shopping.
Or I could hole up in my room with a book.
Winner. I didn’t feel like leaving the house.
I shouldn’t have to. It was my home too. Jade and Talon reminded me of that on a daily basis.
But only Jade knew why I had to be scarce when Bryce was around.
Things like this were supposed to get easier, but that was a big crock of crap. I wanted Bryce more than ever, loved him more than ever, needed him more than ever.
When? Just when did it actually become easier?
I finished clearing the kitchen and looked down into the family room.
“Come join us, Marj,” Jade said.
“Thanks, but I can’t. I’ve got some stuff to do.”
“It’s Sunday,” Melanie said. “What could you possibly have to do that can’t wait until tomorrow?”
Avoiding Bryce. Nope, couldn’t say that.
“I want to catch up on some reading,” I lied.
“Oh? What are you reading?” Ruby asked. “I’ve been looking for a new novel to start.”
Okay. Caught in a big-time lie. I wasn’t reading a book. I’d been planning to stalk the bookshelves in the library next to Talon’s office and find something. Or not. Maybe I just wanted to go to my room and wallow in my loneliness.
Yeah. That sounded good.
“I’m starting something new,” I said. “I’ll let you know if it’s any good.”
“Great,” Ruby said. “I’d appreciate that. I have so little time to read anymore. I miss it.”
I’d had no idea Ruby was an avid reader. She and I weren’t as close as Melanie and I were, but that was only because Mel was my therapist.
Now I had to go to the library. I walked past Talon’s office and into the bedroom my father had converted to a library long ago. He had a great collection. Classics, mostly, and a lot of nonfiction about the ranching business. Over the years, though, we’d all added to it, and we had a good amount of commercial fiction as well.
Nothing screamed out at me. I definitely wasn’t in the mood for a classic. They were slow and often dull. Moby Dick, anyone? A few romance novels sat on the shelf. Nope. Not in the mood for that, either. Happy endings? If I couldn’t have my own happy ending with the man I loved, I didn’t particularly want to read about anyone else’s.
Ranching and farming? God, no. I truly was a silent partner here. I just wasn’t interested.
I sighed. Nothing. I didn’t want to read. I didn’t want to go to town. I didn’t want to go shopping.
I didn’t want to do anything.
Was this what depression felt like? Losing interest in the things that usually made you happy? Even cooking had become a chore. I no longer pored over my recipe books to try new things for dinner. Last night we’d had pot roast and potatoes with winter vegetables. Ho-hum.
