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No matter how much I tried not to think of that time, when I was alone, it always crept into my mind. I could go down to the lounge, forget my woes in some more pink punch, if indeed that was what they were serving up tonight.
I forced myself to remember everything, though, and one thing I’d never forget was how I felt last night.
Never again.
But what to do?
I checked my hair in the mirror and decided to see what my next-door neighbors were up to. We’d done some “get to know you” activities today. I knocked on the door next to ours. No answer. Same for the door on the other side.
They were probably all down at the lounge party, where I didn’t want to go.
If I wanted company, that was where I needed to be. Why not? I didn’t have to drink. There was certainly no law forcing me to.
I went back to the room, braided my hair, and added a touch of lip gloss. Then I went to join the party.
“Hey, love!” Ennis brought me a cup.
I shook my head. “Not going there tonight.”
“Relax. It’s punch. You weren’t the only one who experienced the horrors of last night’s brew. Tonight it’s strictly add your own booze if you want it.”
I sniffed at the drink. “How can I be sure? I hardly tasted the liquor last night.”
“Scout’s honor,” he said. “I poured it myself.”
“All right.” I took a drink. It was sweeter than last night’s, which I guessed meant it wasn’t spiked. I hoped, anyway.
Sex wasn’t the only thing I had no experience with. Drinking was another, obviously.
“Not with the caveman tonight, eh?” Ennis said.
“Caveman?”
Ennis pointed to his jaw.
“Oh, Brad. He’s really sorry about that, by the way.”
“No hard feelings. He seems to like you a lot. I’m surprised you’re not with him.”
“I was. We had dinner, but that’s over.”
“I suppose I don’t stand a chance against him, do I?”
“Oh. I guess I didn’t realize…”
“What? That I might be interested in you? Daphne, you’re the most beautiful girl in this room. In any room, actually.”
I wasn’t sure what to say.
“You really have no idea how spectacular you are, do you?”
“I mean…I guess I’m attractive…”
“Attractive? You’re stunning. You’re tall and lean with perfect curves. You’re supermodel material, love.”
I warmed all over. “I just… I don’t know. I’m just me, you know?”
“I’ll settle for friendship, of course. You’re a lovely person.”
“Thank you. You’re my only friend here so far.”
“What about your roommate? The cute little redhead?”
“Patty. She’s nice, but she’s…”
“Off with a guy?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
“So why aren’t you, then?”
“I’m just not ready for any of that. Nothing serious, anyway. Seems like all these college guys are after sex.”
That got a laugh out of him. “Can’t say you’re wrong about that.”
“I’m not interested in going there yet.”
“No hurry. Anyone who tries to make you go faster than you’re comfortable with isn’t who you need.”
“I know.”
“And the caveman…?”
“I’m here, aren’t I? He’s not forcing me into anything, but he wants to see me tomorrow night.”
“And what do you want, love?”
“I don’t know.”
Except that I did. I wanted to be with Brad Steel. I wanted to give him everything he wanted. Everything I wasn’t ready to give.
“Well, hang with me. Hands off, I promise. But if you ever change your mind…”
I smiled. “Nice to know. You look sort of like a better-looking Prince Charles. Sound like him too.” Funny I hadn’t noticed the resemblance until Brad pointed it out.
“The Queen’s English. I was raised in London. I’m not a lord, but my father is. Technically I’m the Honourable Ennis Ainsley.” He bowed.
“Really? That’s cool.”
“Just means my father was granted a life peerage. I can’t inherit it, though, and my children won’t have any title.”
“Well, it’s cool anyway.” I took another drink.
A cute blonde joined us. “Hey, Ennis!”
“Hi, Molly.” He returned her hug. “This is Daphne.”
“Hi!” Molly said excitedly.
“Nice to meet you,” I said.
She turned back to Ennis. Clearly, he was the one she’d come to talk to. They chatted about nothing in particular, and I felt myself fade into the background.
Invisible.
I was invisible.
I’d felt this way since the hospitalization. Crowds like this ate me up. Consumed me. Swallowed me.
“Hey, gorgeous.”
I jolted. A tall guy touched my shoulder.
“Hi,” I said.
“Want to dance?”
I looked around. “Are people dancing?”
“A few.”
Ennis was still chatting with Molly. My nerves skittered. Did I want to dance? I’d never danced with a guy before. I didn’t go to prom. No one asked me, and I wasn’t going to go alone or with friends.
Besides, I didn’t have any close friends in high school. Most of them lost interest in me when I disappeared junior year.
What was the harm? He seemed nice.
“Sure.”
He led me over to a small area where a few couples were dancing slowly to the music. He pulled me close, and I copied what the other girls were doing, wrapping my arms around his neck.
