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I breathe in deeply. I’ll think about that tomorrow.
Penny must be outside. Otherwise she’d be in here rousing me out of bed. I rise, don a robe, and walk to the kitchen. I’m parched, but a tall glass of OJ will take care of that. After letting a tail-wagging Penny in through the French doors, I gulp down some juice and call Mom. Maybe it’ll get my mind off Dale’s past.
“Hey, honey,” she says.
“Just checking in. How are you doing?”
“One day at a time. I talked to the attorney Dale set me up with. She thinks we can get through probate fairly quickly, even without a will, since I have a valid marriage certificate. As long as Dennis’s mother doesn’t contest it.”
“Why would she?”
“I have no idea.” Mom sighs. “I don’t even know the woman.”
Of course she doesn’t. Mom and Dennis eloped without telling anyone after dating for six months. Dennis’s mother could be a sweetheart or a shrew. After her behavior at the funeral, I’m thinking shrew. Still, Mom has the upper hand.
“You’ll get through it,” I say.
“I suppose so.” Her tone is wistful.
“Just say the word, and I’ll be right there.”
“I know that, honey, but your place is with your new husband.”
“Mom, I—” I stop abruptly.
Dale walks into the kitchen. Strange. I didn’t hear him come in. Penny whisks around his ankles. He leans down and pets her absently.
Then he meets my gaze.
I swallow. Something’s wrong.
“Mom, I have to go. I’ll call you back, okay?”
“Is anything wrong?”
“Everything’s fine.” I end the call.
Everything’s fine.
I just lied to my mother.
It’s written all over Dale’s face.
Everything is most assuredly not fine.
I inhale. Stand tall, though my husband dwarfs me.
His hair is a mass of blond surrounding his perfectly sculpted face. His green eyes pierce me with coldness. No longer do they play the jubilant songs. No, the green is menacing. It’s an eerie solo violin, playing a melody of hell.
I chill all over and rub my upper arms. It does no good. This chill soaks me to my soul.
I’m not scared, exactly, though I do feel fear. Dale looks ominous, as if he’s just seen something terrifying, as if he’s ready to stand up to destruction.
As if he’s a storm rioting in for one purpose, though I don’t yet know what the purpose is. To put out a fire? To start a fire?
To create? Or to destroy?
A chilling breeze swirls through me. It’s my imagination, I know, but it’s so real. So cold and real.
I say nothing, just let his eyes pierce two freezing holes in my flesh.
Finally, he speaks.
“We need to talk.”
I hold back a gasp. His voice.
It’s no longer that gorgeous Syrah red that I love.
It’s darker. Nearing pure black in its opacity.
Where is my beautiful husband? Where is the terrified child he must have been? I see neither in the man before me.
We need to talk. Has anything good ever come from those four words?
I say nothing. I don’t move. I stand, as if those chills have actually frozen me.
And I wait.
Chapter Forty-Nine
Dale
My heart is breaking, but I steel myself. I have to do this for Ashley’s own good.
I have to, before that carefully constructed wall comes crashing down, and I destroy her.
“Ashley,” I say.
She inhales. “What?”
“This isn’t easy.”
“Spit it out, Dale. We both know it’s bad. Just get it over with before I throw up orange juice all over your kitchen.”
She’s so strong, my Ashley. She’ll get through this. She’ll hurt at first, but she’ll be okay. She has her mother. They’ll be in basically the same situation. They can comfort each other.
“I can’t do this,” I finally say, nearly choking on the words.
“Do what?”
“This.” I gesture around the kitchen and then to her. “This. Us.”
“Dale, I—”
I shake my head. “No. I know everything you’re going to say. That we love each other. That love is enough. It’s not, Ashley. It’s not.”
She bites her lip. I expect tears, but she holds them back. I wish I had her control.
“We got married in Las Vegas,” I say, trying my level best to sound like I don’t care.
“So? It’s still valid.”
“I know that, but we can get it annulled pretty easily. Vegas weddings are often annulled because people get into them in a drunken stupor.”
“Neither of us was in a drunken stupor, Dale.”
“Ashley, don’t make this harder than it is.”
“Harder? This is hard for you?”
“Of course it’s hard for me. I never wanted to hurt you.”
She crumbles then, right into my arms, her cheek against my chest. “I know what happened, babe. I know everything.”
My arms go numb. “You know…what, exactly?”
She pulls away, meets my gaze. “Your Dad. Ryan. They told me…”
Anger wells in me. I move backward. I can’t be near Ashley right now. I can’t. Because I’m ready to burst, and I can’t burst on her.
“Dale…” Her lips tremble, and her voice cracks.
