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“So,” Thunder said, “I take it there’s a reason why your baby sis wanted you to know about Amber and me.”
“Yeah, there is.” Sam cleared his throat. “I’m kind of in a similar situation right now.”
“Well, son, don’t just sit there stuttering. Tell me what’s going on.”
He poured out the story of Sydney and Duke.
“In a way, you’re luckier than I was,” Thunder said. “You know about your boy now. I missed twenty-two years of my baby girl’s life, a life I could have helped make a lot better. She had some rough times.”
“What’s your relationship with Amber’s mother?”
“Well, that’s kind of a sad thing. Karen—that’s her name—isn’t well. She’s in rehab for alcoholism right now, and she’s also gettin’ psychotherapy and medication. She’s been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder.
“Oh, wow. I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Amber didn’t have it easy, growin’ up with Karen. I feel a lot of guilt about not being there for her. Or for Karen, for that matter.”
“But did you even know you had a daughter?”
He shook his head. “No, I didn’t. Evidently Karen tried to contact me after Amber was born, but I never got the message. I was livin’ with a woman at the time who told Karen never to call me again. The woman was obsessed with me. I later got a restraining order against her.”
“Wow.” Sam shook his head. “But you shouldn’t feel guilty. You didn’t even know she existed.”
“Doesn’t matter. She’s mine. I could have made her life easier.”
“Does she blame you?”
“No, absolutely not. She understands. She’s a wonderful young woman.”
“Then you shouldn’t blame yourself.”
Thunder nodded. “Objectively I know that. But it’s easier said than done.”
The ache in Sam’s heart eased a little. But only a little. “At least I know my boy has had a good life so far.”
“That’s something to be said, for sure,” Thunder agreed.
“But I can’t help but be really angry,” Sam said. “I wasn’t even given a choice to be a part of his life.”
“Nor was I.”
“I know, I know. And you missed a lot more than I did. Don’t you resent Amber’s mother for not telling you?”
“Like I said, she tried to tell me once. The woman scared her enough to never try again. And Karen’s illness helped her keep that promise. She was paranoid.”
“I’m sorry you missed so much.”
“So am I. I feel a lot of guilt over Amber’s tough life. But she sets me straight. She’s so loving and giving. I wish I had been there for her when she needed me, but I’m here now, and right now, the best thing I can do for Amber is see that her mother gets the help she needs.”
“You’re a very forgiving man.”
“Nah, there’s nothin’ special about me. But when you get to a certain age, you realize that resentment only breeds more resentment. So I’ve chosen to focus on now. Amber still needs a father—maybe not the same way she did when she was a little girl, but she needs me. And I sure as heck need her.”
“What should I do? My son is only five. If I uproot him, he will suffer.”
“That’s a tough one, for sure,” Thunder said. “I wish I had an answer for you.”
Sam stood and paced in a circle. “I’m so angry.”
