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“I guess you’ll have to tell me how long this will go on, Mia. How long does it take to get over thirty years of lies?”
Her eyes softened back to their warm chocolate. “I don’t understand you, Jeff. Sometimes you’re caring and warm, and I think you’re coming around, and then you go cold again.”
He couldn’t deny her words. The truth was he wanted her back in his life. Back in his bed. But prison had hardened him. He didn’t want to live a life of resentment. He’d been there, done that. The result wasn’t pretty. Yet whenever he moved forward to smile, to take Mia into his arms, to forgive, unwanted images popped into his mind.
Perfect Wayne. Five years Jeff’s senior, Wayne had been the golden boy. The apple of Grandpa Norman’s eye. Jeff had never been able to compare, so he’d gone his own way and taken a path of self-destruction.
Until he’d met his Mia.
God, no. Not my Mia. She hasn’t been my Mia for a very long time.
He’d been ready to change, to have a life with her, until she betrayed him with his own brother.
That he couldn’t get past.
“Are you going to answer me or just stand there?” Mia’s voice rose. “I invited you to dinner, damn it. You’ve been here a year and eaten with me only a handful of times.”
Still he didn’t speak. Didn’t even nod.
“We agreed when I invited you to live here on the ranch that we’d try to rebuild our friendship. I haven’t asked for anything more. But you refuse even that.”
Jeff cleared his throat. “I’m trying, Mia.”
“Really? Could’ve fooled me.” She turned and then glanced back at him over her shoulder. “Dinner will be on the table at seven p.m. Angie and Rafe are in town and would like to see you. I’ve invited Harper and Amber too.”
Angie was coming? He’d known she was coming to town but didn’t realize she was here yet. That was a horse of a different color. He nodded. “I’ll be there. Thank you for the invite.”
He inhaled and willed his body to stop the inner quivering that jumbled his insides whenever Maria was near. And he went back to
work.
* * *
“You have to give him time, Mama,” Harper Bay said. “Think of what he’s lost.”
“I know very well what he’s lost.” Maria filled the coffeepot with water and poured it into the machine. “Do you think I haven’t lived with that myself for the last thirty years? Not a day went by that the guilt didn’t eat me alive.”
“You never showed it. We never knew.”
“Of course I never showed it. I had a husband, children, a family to take care of. You all deserved my best.”
“We got that.”
Harper warmed Maria’s heart. God bless her wonderful son. She had been a good mother, and Wayne had been an incredible father, even though he’d spoiled Angelina rotten. But she was fine now, happily married and expecting. “Thank you, hon.”
“But you had us all those years. You had Angie. All that time, he was rotting in prison. You can’t compare your two lives. It’s apples and oranges. Really, it’s apples and crap, to tell the truth.”
Maria nodded. Her son was right, of course. Even though she and Wayne hadn’t been in love, they’d had a good life. Their children had grown up happy and secure. Jeff, on the other hand, had lived a nightmare in prison.
“I know, Harp. I know.” What more could she say? She was lucky Harper had taken the news—that his sister was his half-sister/half-cousin and that his mother had lied to his father all those years—so well.
If she could erase the pain of Jeff’s past she would, but she couldn’t. They had to move forward. Besides, things couldn’t have worked out any differently. If they had, she wouldn’t have the amazing son standing before her now, or her youngest child, Catie.
“He’s still here,” Harper said. “He could have left, but he hasn’t. And he’s earning his own way. We’ve told him we’d take care of him, give him what should rightfully be his.”
“He’s too proud. He needs to work for his supper.” And work he did. Harper told her daily what a great job he was doing, how he worked harder than any of the other hands. And Lord God, it showed. In the year since he’d been at Cha Cha Ranch, he’d tightened up those muscles and had the body he’d had at twenty-one. He was just as handsome, if not more so, with his wavy dark hair now sprinkled with a little salt.
“That’s a good thing, Mama. There’s a good man inside him. He just needs to get through this. And he will. Look how well he and Angie are doing.”
