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Steven gripped his arm. “Thank you. Thanks you for saving her.”
“I hope that’s what we’ve done. Right now, it’s still touch and go.” He sighed, spying his wife and her sisters, sitting with Anne, Emily, Derek, and Spencer. “I guess I need to go give Grace a hug. I’m not really prepared to answer questions yet.”
“What should I tell Anne?”
“I think we should dwell on the positive. Her heart was beating on its own. That’s the only thing we know for sure.”
Grace stood as Brad approached and fell into his arms, her tears wetting his shirt. He hugged her tightly, whispering comforting words.
“Is she gonna make it?” Grace croaked out.
Brad avoided eye contact, “We’re very hopeful.”
“Brad!” Grace whispered in alarm. “That’s all you can say?”
“Please don’t ask me right now, okay?”
Grace buried her face in his chest, sobbing.
“Grace... Baby,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re going to scare Anne and Emily. You need to buck up and smile like I gave you really good news. Okay?” She nodded, trying to force a smile onto her teary face.
Emily approached them with tear-tracks staining her face. “Josh looks really upset. Does that mean it’s bad?”
“No, Josh is upset because he’s used to being able to control everything. This time, it’s out of his hands, and he’s going crazy. I’m tempted to make him take a sedative.” He watched as Josh patrolled the doorway with haunted eyes.
STEVEN DID HIS BEST to reassure Anne with the slim bit of optimistic news Brad imparted, deliberately ignoring the negative aspects. With that task out of the way, he steeled himself to confront Josh. He found his target pacing in front of the emergency room doors.
“Come on, Josh. Let’s take a walk.”
“I can’t. They might come out while I’m gone.”
Steven pulled him toward the outside door. “They just went into surgery—it will take a while. You and I need to have a talk.”
Josh moved like a zombie, unaware of his surroundings. Steven handed him his coat, and he slipped it on and zipped it up against the chilly wind.
“What’s going on in your head?” Steven watched him squeeze his eyes tight as if he couldn’t stand to think.
“She may never wake up.” The words tore from his mouth with a torrent of anguish. “I’ll never get to talk to her. I won’t get to tell her... anything.”
Steven put a hand on his shoulder. “She will wake up.”
“You don’t know that.” His voice cracked. “We don’t even know what’s going on in surgery.”
“When you don’t have control, you’ve got to have faith. That’s your job right now. That’s what you can do for Charlie. You have to believe she’ll be okay. You have to pray. You can’t fix this yourself.” Steven could tell his words had hit their mark when Josh’s shoulders slumped.
“You’re right—I feel so helpless. I did an emergency medicine residency because I wanted the ability to fix people... to save lives. I still remember the first person who died in my care. I’d done everything I knew to do, but I couldn’t save him. I was so angry. And frustrated. But eventually I learned to accept I wasn’t God, that I couldn’t fix everything.”
Josh paused, before boring into Steven with angst-ridden eyes. “But it’s different with Charlie.”
“Because you love her?”
He nodded, dropping his gaze.
“Look Josh, I believe she’ll make it—I really do. But you’ve got another problem right now. You’ve got a scared little nephew in there who needs you. And he thinks this is his fault.”
“It’s not Jace’s fault. Why would he think that?”
“All he knows is Charlie did this to save him, and you haven’t spoken to him since it happened.”
