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‘I did not drag it in,’ she said and felt sick. Because I am so close to loving you. I didn’t know it before, but I do now. ‘It is one factor in a relationship, that is all. Women talk about love because we understand that emotions are important, too. It is not some sinister plot to entrap the entire male population—why should we want to do that when you men are mostly as insensible to your emotions as an illiterate man is to literature!’
She wrenched the door open, stalked out, shut it behind her, remembering just in time that this was not her house and slamming was out of the question, then realised she had no idea where to go. Her room, if she could find it? Back to the salon to face Ashe’s family?
‘Are you lost, my dear?’
The lightly accented voice made her jump. ‘Lady Eldonstone. I was just wondering where I should go now I have finished with those crates.’
‘Let me walk with you up to your room. I am sure you would like to get rid of the dust and the ink stains. Then we can go to Sara’s room and see what she has found for you to wear to the masquerade.’
‘Thank you, I should like that.’
‘And it has the added benefit of removing you from my son before you are moved to tell him he is so impossible you will not marry him,’ the marchioness said calmly halfway up the stairs. ‘Careful, my dear, you will trip.’
‘Ashe is… Lord Clere… That is, we had a slight disagreement, but I am sure it is normal.’
His mother sighed. ‘Men are sometimes inclined to think with their heads and certain parts of their anatomy first and their feelings a long time later. At the moment Ashe is doing what he believes to be right. I hope you will not take it amiss if I say that it may take him a while to accept that he is doing what he cannot bear not to do.’
‘I do not take it amiss, Lady Eldonstone, I simply find it impossible to accept,’ Phyllida said as they reached the door of her room. Which was a mercy. If he was truly attached to her, then to leave him would hurt him. It was better this way, she had to believe it.
‘Ah well, we will see. I had to run away from Ashe’s father before he realised he was in love with me. It was quite dramatic—I was dressed as a youth and he dragged me off my horse and kissed me in the middle of a group of very confused Bengali traders.’ She sank down on to the chaise at the foot of the bed and curled her legs up under her with enviable ease.
‘I should imagine that would cause a stir in the middle of London,’ Phyllida suggested as she poured water into the basin to wash her hands. But she was going to jilt Ashe, she was determined on that. If he was truly his father’s son, he might make that very difficult indeed—but it would be pride, not love, that was going to make him refuse to give up.
‘It caused a stir on the banks of the Ganges,’ Lady Eldonstone said with a reminiscent smile. ‘Shall we go along to Sara’s room? I have had a very civil note back from Lady Auderley who will be delighted if you accompany us to her masquerade.’
Phyllida told herself that the more she was accepted, the better it was for Gregory and that she should swallow her pride with good grace. ‘Thank you for asking her, I am sure I will enjoy it,’ she said politely as her hostess opened Sara’s door, then stopped dead on the threshold. ‘My goodness, how beautiful you look.’
Sara was twirling in front of the long glass, her skirts flaring out in a bell of shimmering, heavily embroidered golden silk that revealed her legs, clad in tight dark-brown silk trousers, almost to the knee. Her bodice, which left a hand’s span of bare flesh between its hem and the waistband, matched the skirts and her hair, covered by a transparent scarf of dark brown, hung in a long plait down her back.
‘Do you like it?’ She came to a halt and a jangle of golden bracelets fell down her arms to collect at her wrists. Her ankles had bands of little bells tied around them and her earrings gleamed with more gold.
‘I think it is stunning. But all that bare skin at your midriff is very daring.’
‘I wondered about that,’ Lady Eldonstone said. ‘I think a jacket over the bodice, Sara, we do not want the ladies fainting away with shock.’
‘I was thinking more of the gentlemen having heart attacks,’ Phyllida said as Sara put on a jacket that was cut open to expose the front of the bodice and then buttoned tightly from below her breasts to flare over her hips.
‘Mata will be wearing blue, so I thought this be best for you.’ Sara gestured to a pile of green silk on the bed, its colours ranging from darkest fir to palest grass, the embroidery glittering gold in the light from the window. By candlelight it would be spectacular. ‘I think we are about the same size.’ She held up the bodice for Phyllida to see.
‘Try it on.’ Lady Eldonstone kicked off her slippers and assumed what appeared to be her favourite cross-legged position on a sofa.
‘I’ll help you undress.’ Sara propelled Phyllida behind a screen and began to unbutton the back of her gown. Unused to having a sister, Phyllida felt almost shy shedding her clothing, especially when Sara said, ‘You need to take off everything. Stockings, chemise, the lot.’
‘No stays?’
‘Goodness, no. The bodice is tight enough to keep everything in place,’ Sara said, ruthlessly tying and tweaking.
‘Trousers feel very strange.’
‘The absence of them feels stranger, believe me,’ Lady Eldonstone said. ‘I felt positively indecent when I had to start wearing European clothes. And don’t forget, skirts were still wide then. I was in constant alarm that the wind would flip everything up.’
‘It certainly makes the most of my bosom.’ Phyllida peered down at a cleavage she had not known she possessed.
Finally Sara finished. ‘No, do not come out. I do not want you to see yourself until the night of the masquerade. Mata, do come and look. Doesn’t Phyllida look lovely?’
‘Exquisite.’ The marchioness came round the screen and studied her. ‘Ashe will be enchanted. I will find jewellery for you. Now, Sara, help Phyllida change again. The day after tomorrow, in the afternoon, we will turn my bedchamber into the women’s mahal—the women’s quarters in the palace,’ she explained.
‘All afternoon?’ Phyllida turned her back so Sara could lace her stays.
