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Afterwards the days the three of them spent walking towards Gibraltar seemed to Hebe to be part of a story from a book that she had been told but which she had not really experienced. It had all the hazy quality of a dream a
s they walked steadily through green farmland and dusty plains, climbed ridges that seemed like hills after the foothills of the Pyrenees, and made their way across old bridges arching over rivers still swollen from the spring snowmelt.
Sometimes they saw French troops, but they seemed to be convincing in their role as three farmers moving from field to field or travelling to the next village and they were not challenged. Each night Alex found friends, or friends of friends, to stay with and Hebe began to develop a Spanish vocabulary she was quite proud of.
But somehow she and Alex were never alone and never spoke about more than the most commonplace things. Hebe missed their closeness, even as she recognised its dangers. And, she told herself as she trudged along beside their patient donkey, she would be parting from him soon, so the earlier she got used to it, the better.
That evening she wandered away from the house where they were staying with a large and exuberant family who proved to be distant cousins of Anna’s. Anna was admiring the new baby and Alex was deep in conversation with the village mayor and several leading citizens who were describing in detail what they had observed locally of French troop movements so close to the front line with the English. Hebe felt restless and lonely. She knew that if she stayed where she was she would spend the evening gazing at Alex, wishing they were alone, wishing she was in his arms again.
She found a spot where a large tree trunk had been washed up on a bend in the river and sat on it to watch the swallows hunting gnats over the water. It was quiet and she fell into a sort of doze, thinking about Alex, aching for him and trying to find the strength of mind to stop. He would be gone from her life soon, back to England and the woman he truly loved and would marry and raise a family with. It was wrong of her to feel like this, and dangerous too, for she knew she must not let her guard down and let him glimpse her feelings or guess at what had happened that night.
A footstep behind her jerked her awake with a start and she half-fell, half-stumbled off the tree trunk, ending up with one foot in the stream. Alex jumped down beside her and lifted her on to the dry shingle, his face alight with amusement at her predicament.
Hebe, thoroughly startled at finding herself in his arms, jerked away abruptly and made a pretence of holding on to a willow branch while she shook the water from her shoe. Alone with him in the evening light she was acutely aware of his masculinity, of his looks, which she had become so accustomed to and which now struck her with renewed force. The casual way he wore the loose linen shirt, the way the tight trousers followed the lines of his long legs and the dark stubble that he was shaving only every other day, all of these served to emphasise the strength and elegance of his body and the severe perfection of his face.
She felt a wave of desire that startled her with its intensity and made her avoid his eyes lest he read her feelings in them.
‘Hebe? What is the matter?’
‘Nothing! I mean, you made me jump, I was sitting there daydreaming and I suddenly heard you and I was startled.’ She bent to put back her shoe, making too much of a business of lacing it.
‘I am sorry, I did not mean to scare you.’ Alex took a step towards her as she straightened up and, without thinking, she stepped round the fallen tree until it was between them. He was regarding her with a slight frown between his dark brows. ‘Hebe, have I done something to upset you? You seem to have been avoiding me these past few days.’
‘No, no, not at all.’ Stop twittering, she told herself fiercely. ‘It is probably better if we keep more of a distance, do you not think? I mean, we are almost back to Gibraltar now, and it will not do to give any impression that we have been intim…close.’
Alex leaned his hip against the tree trunk and folded his arms, still watching her closely. ‘We can revert to society manners and distance the moment the gates of Gibraltar come into sight. I hardly think we need any practice.’
‘Umm…’ Hebe felt cornered. ‘Well, I still think it is better if we get used to it now. After all, you are engaged to be married and we have fallen into the habit of…’
‘Intimacy?’ he supplied drily.
‘Friendship,’ Hebe retorted, recovering her wits somewhat.
‘Very well, we will behave as though we have just been introduced at a dull evening reception, although if I was your mama I would find that considerably more suspicious than the natural degree of familiarity one might expect to develop between two people cast adrift on a foreign shore. However, you know her best.’
Hebe opened her mouth to retort that she did not mean they should act as total strangers when he added, ‘And speaking of foreign shores, Anna is throwing herself into the role of duenna with some enthusiasm, is she not? What is the matter with her? Do the pair of you think I am about to leap upon you and ravish you?
‘I am sorry!’ He broke off at the sight of her rosy cheeks and wide-eyed shock. ‘I did not mean to put you to the blush. Really, Hebe, you know I find you damnably attractive, but I can promise you, I would never do anything to alarm or compromise you.’
The first part of this was so near the knuckle that Hebe gasped, then his last sentence penetrated. ‘Did you say you find me “damnably attractive”?’ she demanded.
‘Oh, lord! I do recall saying I was going to give you one comprehensive apology for my language at the end of this adventure.’ He raked his hand through his hair and regarded her ruefully. ‘Yes, for my sins, I did say just that—but you knew it already.’
‘You said I was enchanting, not attractive,’ Hebe pointed out, throwing caution to the winds. This was dangerous ground, but she could not resist.
‘Same thing.’
‘No, it is not. People say kittens are enchanting, or babies.’
Alex pushed himself away from the tree trunk and regarded her with a look that made her heart beat hard in her chest. ‘I do not think of you as a kitten, Hebe. A small wildcat sometimes, but never a kitten. I will go back to England, and I will become a respectable married man, but I will never quite forget you, because you are an enchantress.’
Hebe thought she had stopped breathing. She knew she should turn his words, make some light remark, start to stroll back to the house, but all she could do was stand there, her eyes locked with his, grey with blue. He took one step towards her and she found that her own feet, without any conscious decision on her part, were also moving. One more step and she would be in his arms.
Chapter Fifteen
‘Hebe!’ Anna’s voice broke the spell and Hebe turned aside, her face flaming. ‘Hebe! Where are you?’
‘Here, Anna,’ Hebe ran up the slight slope of the bank and waved. ‘Just talking to Alex.’
