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“Out with it. If I’m on overnight babysitting duty, you’re at least going to tell me which townie is now off-limits.”
I picked up a stray chocolate chip and popped it between my lips. “You have a filthy mind.”
“Yeah, and you are long overdue for a reckless night. I hope it was worth me missing three hours of sleep because L kept waking up.”
“Fuck, more nightmares? That’s a new thing. Well, relatively new. The last six months or so. I chalked it up to her seeing a movie she shouldn’t have.”
“Yeah, some of those porn chicks have traumatized me too.” Oliver gave a mock shudder, but I could tell from his furrowed brow that he was worried.
“How bad was it?”
“Not awful, but she was spooked, so I read to her and she eventually fell back asleep.”
“Just once?”
Oliver shifted on his stool. “Three times.”
“Ahh, fuck.” I raked a hand through my hair, guilt swarming my belly like drunk locusts. While my little girl had been crying in her sleep, I’d been fucking Ally.
Father of the year material for sure. Jesus.
“I’m sure it’s just a phase. Kids go through tons of them. Remember that year you wouldn’t eat anything but bologna and cheese sandwiches?”
“It wasn’t a year, more like three months, and this is a bit worse. I wonder if—”
Oliver held up a hand. “Don’t even say it. If you mention that bitch, my good humor will be ruined.”
I leaned forward. “Regardless, she’s her mother. And maybe there’s just no getting around that fact.”
Hearing myself, I frowned. What business did I have trying to set up this arrangement with Ally? My needs—and even Laurie’s—weren’t all that mattered. I’d told myself I could be both parents to my children, but maybe that was crazy talk. I couldn’t magically become the children’s mother. And when it came to the baby I had with Ally, he or she would have a mother. The best mother. Even without seeing Ally have kids of her own yet, I knew that just from watching her with Laurie. So how could I ever consider Ally might want to have a baby and walk away?
Christ, I was a selfish fuck. No wonder Ally didn’t want to talk to me. I’d thought up the most insane plan ever and I’d asked her to make the ultimate sacrifice for a few pennies. All right, a lot of them, but still. Exchanging a child for a college education was nuts.
Ally wasn’t Marj, and asking her to make a deal like that proved that I didn’t deserve a best friend like her.
I just fucking hoped she’d give me another chance.
“Seth?”
Shaking my head, I held up a finger at my brother and yanked out my phone. I texted Ally as fast as my fingers would work.
I’m so fucking sorry. More sorry than you’ll ever know.
She didn’t respond, and by now, I almost didn’t expect her to. I couldn’t have screwed up this situation any more if I’d tried.
I jerked to my feet and almost without thinking, tucked two cookies in my suit coat. Chocolate chip was Ally’s favorite.
Oliver rose, clearly reading my intentions to split. “You’re leaving? Just like that?”
“Yeah, I have shit to fix. I’m sorry, man. I really appreciate last night.” I clapped him on the shoulder and went to talk to my daughter.
She wasn’t in a hurry to go, of course, but I mentioned a possible hot fudge sundae at the diner in her future if she came without a fuss. More sugary snacks weren’t the best idea, and I’d probably pay the price for the rest of the weekend, but desperate times.
Oliver shook his head before I carted Laurie and her bag of toys and clothes out the door. “Whatever you’re up to, I hope it ends well.”
“Me too. I’ll call.”
I was already halfway down the steps with Laurie, who was waving frantically at my brother. “Bye Unca O! Bye bye!”
