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Cared about—
I shut it down as I yanked on my jacket. Lily would be fine. Hannah would be fine. I was just taking a time-out.
Oh, yeah? Then tell her you’re leaving. Don’t be the bastard who finds out she’s carrying your child and leaves her to handle it alone.
The problem was I had never once been a bastard. Ever. I must’ve been overdue, because I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
This time, I was the one who slammed the door behind me.
Some sick asshole part of me wanted Hannah to worry. To fret that I’d done something so out of character and split. She thought she had me pegged.
Everyone thought they knew me. Even my grandmother. I was about as predictable as a sandwich.
Until tonight.
I stopped dead on the porch at the sight of all the snow. My car was blocked in. The plow service hadn’t come by yet. It wasn’t much past midnight. We’d barely slept for an hour or two before she’d awakened and blown my mind.
In more ways than one.
I didn’t even know where I intended to go. Normally, I’d head into the office and pour my frustrations into paperwork and whatever else I needed to deal with to get ahead for the rest of the week. But that was what dutiful Asher did. I didn’t want to fucking work. I wanted to get blistering drunk and act like an idiot.
I wanted to not be me for a while.
The only reason you can be a jackass is because you know she’s here. Just dump and run, why don’t you?
I yanked on the gloves I found in my pocket and rushed down the steps. Fuck it. I’d walk it off.
Last call was two a.m., wasn’t it? Just enough time for me to pour some libations into me and make all of this disappear for a while.
Just as well that I wasn’t taking my car. I couldn’t drink if I had. This way, I could take an Uber back. Or stumble home.
Or faceplant in a snowbank and see if anyone ever comes looking for me.
Why would she? She already had this situation under control. Oh, she’d said I didn’t understand where she was coming from, but she certainly hadn’t seemed eager for my input. She’d basically said she knew I would freak out.
And look at that, here I was, freaking out.
Sandwiches were probably actually more unpredictable than I was.
I made my way down the sidewalk. Nothing was shoveled, because I hadn’t done it yet and neither had either of my neighbors, spread out as they were. So, I walked in the equally unplowed streets, hunching my shoulders against the cold. It hadn’t seemed so frigid when I was out here before. Playing with Hannah and Lily had taken my attention, I supposed.
Hannah always had, from the very first moment I’d laid eyes on her.
The night we’d made a baby.
Snow fell and blinded me as I walked. I fumbled for my phone, then realized I’d forgotten it.
For the first time, panic surged through me and stalled my breath. I was completely out of touch. What if something happened?
I nearly turned back. But the little devil on my shoulder pushed me forward, and I stumbled on the snowy street as if I’d already had too much.
I didn’t even know where I was going. This neighborhood was essentially new to me. Crescent Cove wasn’t very big, but there were so many small pockets of neighborhoods and side streets.
On one of them I came upon a small bar that looked as if it had been forgotten by time. It wasn’t that far from Main Street, at least geographically. Oth
erwise, it might as well have been on the moon.
The place looked practically deserted. Not shocking on a night this stormy, but I suspected it might be a regular situation. Most smart people stayed home on nights like these.
