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“Yeah. Sorry. Just gonna lie on this floor for a day or two. Don’t mind me.”
“Seriously, not this floor. My boots stuck to it the whole way in.” He pulled me more upright on the stool and kind of shoved me against the bar so I would have some support. The guy was way more athletically built than I’d realized upon first glance. Made sense though, since he was a firefighter.
All I pushed around all day was pencils and Pampers.
Luckily, I was still reasonably physically fit due to all the hours I spent in the gym to compensate for all the sex I wasn’t having.
Probably a good thing, or who knows how large a family I’d have now. Evidently, it wasn’t safe for me to recreationally knock boots.
What had Hannah worn that first night anyway? Pumps?
Welcome to the Brady Bunch part deux.
When I didn’t reply, Austin smiled. I had a feeling he could tell my thoughts were spinning like a Tilt-a-Whirl. “Oh, and sorry, Joey’s almost eleven. She’s at her first sleepover tonight, and I was going stir-crazy at home, so here I am. She has trouble making friends, and if this one doesn’t work out…” He rubbed his hand over his scruff and exhaled heavily. “Anyway, think you’re out of luck with the playmate situation. But, hey, with your new baby on the way, at least your kids will always have a friend, right?”
Right. Bright side.
Dots encroached on my field of vision. Many, many dots. “I don’t suppose you have a spare oxygen tank in your vehicle?”
“Dude, you are bad off. You probably shouldn’t be drinking. How about I get you home?”
“I should go home. You’re right. I’m not this guy. I’m decent. Honorable.” I shoved away the whiskey bottle. I’d drank far more of it than I should have. “I wore a condom the first night. Responsibly. Not tonight though. But she was already pregnant. So, doesn’t count.” I grabbed his shirtfront as I stumbled to my feet. “Right?”
“Sure thing, pal, whatever you say.” He patted my back and turned me toward the bar again. “Hate to ruin this Oprah moment, but you have the money for that whiskey, right? My card’s maxed beyond my tab.”
“Oh, sure. Right. Of course.” I took out my wallet and thumbed out a credit card. I was about to call for the bartender when she swept out and grabbed it off the bar. “His too,” I called.
Austin shook his head. “Nah, man, thanks, but I’m not that bad off. Just a little squeezed from trying to buy a house for us and getting situated in a new town. For fuck’s sake, she’s gonna be a teenager soon. Her clothes are never right, and kids are so damn mean.” He cracked his knuckles. “Anyway, thanks.”
Somehow I smiled. “You’re welcome. You remind me of—” My smile fell away.
He wasn’t Billy. Billy was dead. Just because I’d spent a few minutes drinking with this guy didn’t make us buddies. And he definitely didn’t replace my dead best friend.
Nothing could bring Billy back. Eventually, I’d come to terms with that.
Lily was mine now. No one would come and spirit her away to her real family. Just as Hannah was pregnant. That baby was a reality too.
Wasn’t it? She intended to have the child, right?
She had to. I mean, she had all the choices in the world, but we’d made that child and so what if I wasn’t ready? Life didn’t follow a schedule.
Too bad I only grasped that when my blood was humming and I wasn’t quite stable on my feet.
“Remind you of who?” Austin asked.
I shook my head and it nearly rolled off my shoulders and across the bar. “Just someone I lost. A friend. The best friend I ever had.”
“Ah, Christ, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s okay. It’s been five months give or take.” As if that made it all right.
It didn’t. Nothing ever would be again.
“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Austin said as I signed the slip the bartender presented to me. She snatched it and returned my card and was gone again in a flash.
She had an unusual style of bartending, I had to give her that.
“Going home and sleeping it off?”
