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“Try a he.” His smirk was entirely too smug. “I guess he was kind of pretty though, in a manly way. I’m sure he has no trouble meeting women.”
I snorted. “Unlike you. Too bad you’re so ugly.”
“I didn’t have time for women.”
My pulse quickened. Didn’t. Definitely in the past. Did that mean that he did now? He certainly didn’t seem to have cleared his schedule.
“Does he?”
“I don’t know, but he’s a single dad too, to his kid sister. He’s had a rough go of it too.” Asher pinched the bridge of his nose. “Christ, he made me laugh. It was like it was with Billy, except it wasn’t. It couldn’t be.”
His pain was a palpable thing. I wanted to pull him close, to hold him while he poured out his feelings.
But he wouldn’t, and I’d just regret trying to encourage him to. So, I tried a different tact.
“Where did you go? And don’t just tell me the bar.”
“I did go to the bar.”
“Elaborate.”
He folded one arm beneath his head and stared up at the ceiling. His other hand still rested possessively on my ass. “There’s a place called Sharkey’s not far from here. I ended up there. Basically, it’s a dive. The bartender gave me an entire bottle of whiskey.”
Horrified, I narrowed my eyes. “You did not drink a whole bottle of whiskey. There’s no way in hell you could’ve gotten it up if you had. Not with your lack of tolerance.”
“Gee, who’s the expert here?”
I didn’t want to say it. I almost didn’t. “Try the girl who watched her dad get pissed-face drunk more than once and knows well enough the effects. He couldn’t even stand up when he drank a whole bottle of hard liquor, never mind aim with your precision.”
He was silent for too long. Enough time that I knew he was pitying me. “Hannah, I’m sorry.”
I eased away from him and drew my knees up to my chest. All of a sudden, I was so cold. “You can stop saying that anytime now.”
“But it’s true. I hurt you, and I didn’t mean to. The reasons I left tonight didn’t have to do with you nearly as much as me.”
“They had to do with you feeling responsible for a kid you never intended to make.”
“You’re right. I didn’t intend to make a child. Maybe ever. I didn’t know if it would happen. I also didn’t intend for Billy to fall off that fucking roof, or for his little girl to end up with my last name. I didn’t intend to have to rock her to sleep from nightmares. I wonder if she knows, if she senses her real daddy is gone and is never coming back. If she even remembers him. If she compares me.” He sat up beside me and raked his hands through his hair. “I didn’t intend for life to be so fucking complicated.”
On that point, we could agree.
After a moment, he reached out to rub my back. “I like having you here. I know it’s new. You took this job with Lily, and maybe you figured you’d tell me once the dust settled.”
“I found out yesterday. Remember when you asked me why I was late?” I tightened my grip around my knees. “That would be why.”
“Yesterday,” he echoed dully.
“Yeah. So, I’m no more ‘settled’ with this idea than you are. My doctor ran through the options with me and—”
“What options?”
“The usual ones. Anyway, she told—”
“You’re not having an abortion.”
“No, I’m not, but not because you insisted on it. Your opinion didn’t really factor into my choice.”
His mouth curled into a sneer. “Nice to know where I rank.”
