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“What it did to his actual body.”

“Guessed it in one. Namely, his heart. Medical bills and medications just put everyone through the wringer. My mom worked three different jobs to keep a roof over our heads. When he died, I mostly just felt relief.” I slipped my hand under Gideon’s shirt. I needed more than just the grounding of his heartbeat. I needed his warm skin.

He cupped the back of my head, massaging lightly.

“Nolan couldn’t stand to be in the apartment. He took off before our dad died. He took whatever jobs he could. Sometimes he sent some back to help us, but mostly, it was to pay for his real love. He was—is still—an amazing artist. That crazy espresso machine I have? He built that out of an old machine. Boosted it and improved it to handle my style of espresso beans. Then made it badass. It was the hub of my coffee truck in Chicago. Only thing I kept when I sold it.”

The memory of all that cigarette smoke in my folks’ old apartment made my eyes sting. I turned my face into the center of his chest and drew in his clean scent. Bringing myself back to the truck and the Cove.

“Anyway, after my dad died, my mom didn’t last too much longer. She’d always been chasing him to the grave. First with work, then with a broken heart. I was lost after that. My whole life had been taking care of them. So when Lou came around with a little boy in tow, I just naturally gravitated to him.”

He made a low sigh that was half groan and half mumble.

“Yeah. It was great at first, but Lou definitely had me pegged. Malcolm—his little boy—was almost four and dying for a mom. I just wanted to stop feeling so damn lonely. I should have driven my truck out of Chicago and started over, but that sweet little boy became my everything. And I was already enamored with Lou. He was funny and a little dangerous.”

Dangerous with my heart was more like it. Now I could see it, but back then, it had felt like I had a ready-made family all my own.

“I missed the signs at first. I was too happy to set up his house. Painting the rooms and raising Mal. He was the sweetest little boy. Loved everything Ghostbusters and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” I laughed harshly. “Lou had the perfect setup. I wanted to take care of his kid and treated him just like he was mine. Only he wasn’t mine.”

“Fucking piece of shit.”

I finally looked up at Gideon again. “Can see where this is going, huh?”

“He fucking cheated.”

“Oh, so much worse.”

He sat up and cupped my face in his huge hands. “How can that be worse?”

“Cheated with Malcolm’s mother. The woman who flaked out on him and left her little boy alone.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. I didn’t quite fit into that happy little setup. So, now here I am.”

“That’s a big fucking leap forward.”

I sniffled and hated myself. I didn’t even realize I was crying. There was only so much I was willing to lay bare for him. He didn’t need to know the true colors of the old Macy who almost took Lou back so she wouldn’t lose the little boy. That Macy who didn’t care as much about Lou as she did about his child. “So, yeah. I had a kid for almost a year. Then I didn’t.”

“And you moved to Babytown, USA.”

“Yeah. That’s a story in itself.”

“I still think there’s something missing in there. Why didn’t you go to your brother?”

“My brother didn’t choose me.”

“Maybe he had a good reas—”

I scrambled back and sat on my feet on the far side of the truck. “To choose a friend over his own sister?”

“I don’t mean it like that.”

I held up my hand, my gut churning with all the old feelings. “Look, I get it. You weren’t in the middle of all of that. But would you choose anyone over Dani?”

“No.”

His answer was so quick that my belly calmed down. When he reached for me, I braced at his touch.

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