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“Future?”
“With less than six weeks to go, some things won’t even get here in time. A few things need to be special ordered. But I’ll make sure to have the foundations set—the bedrooms, furniture, wall treatments.”
My head swam. “Treatments?”
He tapped one wall on the drawing that looked different than the others. “I figure a feature wall in reclaimed wood. I was able to salvage a lot of it. I also have a buddy who has lumber from other barns built around the same time. I also figured some sliding barn doors like Doc Thorn had at the clinic. I think it would be a nice way to section off a bottom floor bedroom for Cohen. Then I’ll put three upstairs. Could also be a cool place for kids’ sleepovers or whatever in the future.”
“Kids?”
His gaze tracked to my mouth, then up to my eyes. “Sure. You don’t want kids?”
“I…” I’d never actually thought about it other than as something that might happen in the future. I cleared my throat. “I figured I’d be Aunt Tish more than Mom.”
He coasted a hand down my ponytail and tugged at the end. “A little girl with all this red hair? Seems like that’s something this world needs.”
A brief flash of a freckled girl zipped through my brain before I firmly pushed it back. “I really don’t have that mom gene. Didn’t really have one myself.”
“Makes two of us.” He reached down for my hand. “We don’t have to echo our pasts, Ruby.” His long, thick fingers tightened around mine. “That’s what we come from, not who we are.”
“You want kids?”
“I never thought about it until…”
I didn’t want him to finish that sentence. Before he could, I dropped his hand.
Hell, I didn’t even want to think about that kind of permanence with anyone, let alone someone who would rely on me for eighteen years at minimum.
I pushed my seat back and gathered the dishes. “I’m going to clean up. We can go over the plans, and then you can get your dog.”
He circled my wrist with his fingers, effectively stopping me from escaping. “Do you think running will make things between us less intense?”
I didn’t look down at him. I couldn’t, because I really wasn’t sure what the answer was. If I ignored things—men—long enough, they usually lost interest. There was always a willing woman looking for a good man. I wasn’t that woman.
I liked being on my own.
Dammit, I had a plan. And those green eyes and that long wild hair wasn’t in it.
Proving yet again I was the coward he’d called me, I fled.
Sixteen
“Dammit.” I stood up and followed her.
She was standing at the sink, her fingers gripping the edge as if her life depended on it.
I came up behind her and she stiffened. “Shh. I’m not good at this stuff either, you know. I’m a bad bet from every angle. I should let you run.”
“But you won’t.”
It was my turn to lock my muscles. Did she really not want me? “If this makes you that miserable, I’ll back off. I don’t want to be an idiot puppy who doesn’t know how to control himself. Even if that’s how I feel every time I’m around you, for fuck’s sake.”
She relaxed against me. “You know we don’t have any issue when it comes to sex. I’m not going to deny that.”
“But you don’t want it.” My voice was resigned.
She raised her arm to slip her fingers along the back of my neck. “I like neat, orderly checkboxes.”
“Life isn’t a checkbox.”
