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How did April think a woman who sounded like this could work for me? It wasn’t right.
I wasn’t supposed to notice her voice. In fact, I’d felt a hell of a lot more comfortable when Ryan had been a man.
Or so I’d believed.
I gripped the back of my neck to keep myself from hitting pause. And possibly setting my phone on fire so I wasn’t tempted to ever listen to this again.
She continued talking and I found myself leaning toward her voice. Desperate for more even as I knew I should turn it off.
So, what’s new with you, baby? Tell us all about your new job.
La-la-Luna—that could not be her real name—laughed and tapped her mic.
Is this thing on?
You know it is. Stop stalling.
Okay, okay, the new job is fab. I forgot how much I liked retail. People are so fun, you know?
I definitely did not know. If Luna knew some fun people, I suspected they probably weren’t the ones coming to me for assistance with their contentious divorces.
Really? Since when? People come in all flavors and some of them I don’t want to try.
Ryan’s sarcastic response made me grin. That was more like it.
Oh, stop being such a bitter Betty. You’re just pissy because of what happened at the bar last week.
I cocked a brow. Do tell.
Oh, shut up.
Thankfully, Luna did not listen to Ryan.
Your girl, Miss Goddess Moon here, was line dancing on the bar during Country Chaos night and she was getting down, let me tell you. Then she really got down. As in fell off the bar. I’m surprised she didn’t snap her ankle.
I rubbed my now bristly jaw. Weekends were the only time I allowed myself not to shave. But I couldn’t claim much interest in the current state of my facial hair when I had an image of the faceless Ryan G. Moon line-dancing on a bar. Probably dressed in something short and skimpy.
Then again, maybe that wasn’t her aesthetic at all. She could be the sort who preferred long skirts and flowy tops with plunging necklines.
Yes, turning this off would soon be an imperative.
You know I pivoted at the last moment. Do not deny my grace, you wench.
Their laughter was impossible to listen to and not smile. Since that was better than imagining Ryan in whatever she wore to dance in, I was all for joviality.
I think Ryan needs a reading to cheer her up today. What do you all think? We’ll do a quick three card spread for her and then we’ll dive into our Trampbox and see what you all have for us this week.
Ryan sighed. Heavily. The sound verged on a sexual noise that required a rating. Was there such a thing as an X label for a podcast? If not, they might need to create it for this one.
I don’t need to be cheered up. Hello, you know my vibe is permanently set on glow. Okay, okay, fine. Hit me.
I frowned until I heard the unmistakable sound of cards being shuffled.
Also, these cards better tell me I’m going to get laid soon. If not, keep dealing until the universe provides, okay?
I cleared my throat. This was highly inappropriate for me to be listening to, as someone who was going to be giving Ryan a paycheck. I needed to turn this off and not lean forward as I waited to find out if Ryan was going to get laid. Whether she was or not was not my concern.
Besides, were there really cards that could predict sexual activity? That seemed highly dubious.
