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“Okay.” He eases back, but I grab onto his shirt and pull him back to me.
“My heart and my body, they’re telling me that this feels right.” I brush his shaggy brown hair back from his eyes. “That you and I feel right.”
“That’s because we are.”
“This is really soon.”
“I’ve been trying to get you to give me the time of day for weeks.”
“But the time we’ve spent together, it hasn’t really been all that much.”
He nods. “We do this your way, Parker.”
“You know, my grandma has this saying. It’s something my parents said to us a lot growing up, and me and my sisters, we try to live by it.”
“What’s the saying?”
“Always speak from your heart.”
He rests his hand over my heart. “What does your heart want to say, sweet pea?” he whispers.
“That it’s falling for you. That it’s scared because everything I thought I knew about you seems to be opposite of who you are.” I pause, collecting my thoughts. Holden stays quiet, sensing I have more to say. “I’m scared. I know you can’t believe the media. I grew up with it, so I understand the gossip of the business. I watched it with my parents and still with my sister. Every moment that I spend with you has me craving that many more. I want to let my heart take over, but I don’t want it to be shattered when this, whatever we label it to be, ends.”
“We said we were exclusive,” he reminds me. His voice is soft, almost as if he’s afraid I’m going to jump up and run out of the house. That’s the thing. I probably should keep running, but I just don’t want to. Not from him.
“I know.”
“Then why did you say whatever we label it to be? We’re us.”
“I know,” I say. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say. Everything is all jumbled in my head. I guess my head is looking for a guarantee that my heart is not going to be broken, while my heart is all in, regardless of the outcome.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know that too.”
“And why do you think this is going to end?”
I smile up at him. His blue eyes are dark with concern and maybe worry. “Because you’re too good to be true, Holden Bailey.”
He moves closer, his lips hovering over mine. “I’ve never been a romantic man, Parker. I never gave myself the time to get to know someone to fall for them. I never wanted to. With you, everything is different. It’s more than want at this point. Do I want you? Hell yes, I do. With the passion of a thousand fucking suns. But I also have this… need. I can’t explain it. I’ve never thought about a woman this much before in my life. I’ve never thought ahead to what I could do to make her mine. I’ve never wanted to whisper to a woman that she’s my everything. You’re not the only one wondering what the hell is going on. This isn’t me. It’s not who I am. However, it turns out it’s who I am with you. You’re changing me.”
“I don’t want to change you, Holden.”
“I know that. But that doesn’t change the fact that you are. Before you, it was all physical. I couldn’t care less about hanging out, grabbing takeout, and just spending the evening lying on the floor in an empty house surrounded by empty packages.” He grins. “But here we are, and there is no place I’d rather be.”
I roll to my side and face him. “I want to be here too. And by here, I mean wherever you are.”
This time it’s his heart that his hand is covering. “Your words do some crazy shit right there,” he says, tapping his chest. His voice is low, and dare I say, laced with a tad bit of vulnerability.
I smile. “Good. Now you know how it feels.” I lean forward and press my lips to his.
“Let’s recap this,” he says when I pull away. “We’re together, you and me. As in, I’m going to call you my girlfriend. You good with that?”
“Do I get to call you my boyfriend?” I ask. “Why do I feel like I’m in middle school with this conversation?” I laugh.
“Yes. You do. And those titles they seem insignificant for what this feels like, but I think it’s a good place for us to start.”
“Agreed.”
“Come here, beautiful.” His arms snake around me, and he pulls me close, and then his lips capture mine.
We spend hours on his living room floor, making out like teenagers. It’s fitting because this giddy feeling he gives me makes me feel like a girl with her first crush. By the time he drops me off at my place, it’s well past midnight. I almost invite him in to stay but decide it’s best if I don’t. Instead, I let him kiss me good night and close the door behind me.
