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While he hadn’t admitted it was his club yet, he also didn’t deny it.
An omission versus a lie. Which was worse?
“We got a long history with them, Fallon. They ain’t victims.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and clamped her hand tighter around her phone.
The news had touched on the history of the Guardians of Freedom. Should it matter if that clan was full of the horrible, dangerous people? The MC had taken it upon themselves to annihilate them from the Earth. They had acted as judge, jury and executioners.
And what about the women and children who had been up on that mountain? They were still searching for them in both the ashes and elsewhere.
Children who were innocents. Children who didn’t have a choice to be born into that crazy clan.
She had thought Whip was a good guy. Sweet.
Had she been so completely wrong? Maybe she didn’t know him at all and he was everything negative that an MC cut stood for.
Violent. Even deadly. Full of lies, secrets and deceit.
Had the Whip she fell in love with even existed? Or had it all been an act?
Her voice cracked when she whispered, “You kept telling me and I didn’t listen. It turns out I was mistaken. ”
She could actually hear him swallow through the phone. “‘Bout what?”
“You aren’t who I thought you were.”
A noise came from what sounded like the back of his throat. “You’re right, Fallon, I never was. You just didn’t believe me.”
“I believe you now.”
“Wasn’t like you were plannin’ on stayin’ anyway, right? You weren’t stayin’ here for me no matter who I was.”
That was true. She hadn’t been ready to settle in one spot yet. She had plans for her and Agnes to explore the country. “I—”
“Right. What I fuckin’ thought. I was just someone to occupy your time on your forced detour.”
“I never once lied to you, Whip. I was upfront from the beginning. My goal of this trip was to see everything I missed. What I was too busy to see. What I was too busy to experience. For years I was so occupied by looking upward, I never paused to look around. I couldn’t do that if I stayed, but…” She pulled a long breath in through her nose and slowly let it out along with, “That didn’t mean I couldn’t return.”
Silence once again filled her ear. Long, torturous dead air.
Finally he whispered, “Were you goin’ to, Fallon? Or is it you who’s now lyin’?”
“Does it matter now?”
“Yeah, it does. It fuckin’ matters to me, Fallon. It matters to fuckin’ me. Not once did you say shit or even hint about that. Not fuckin’ once.”
“Because I didn’t know… I didn’t realize…” Now it was her turn to not speak, to hold on to her secret. Because what good would it do now to let him know?
It was too late.
“What didn’t you know, Fallon? How I felt about you? What didn’t you realize? That I wanted you? What?”
Oh God. She couldn’t tell him because it would make all of this even more difficult.
A stray tear slipped from the corner of her eye and she quickly batted it away. “How did you feel about me?” He might not be able to see her tears but he could hear them in her voice.
“That you belonged to me. That you belonged with me. You’re mine, Fallon.”
You’re mine, Fallon.
That claim should disturb her.
What disturbed her was that it didn’t.
Another tear escaped and her throat was so tight, she had to force out, “That’s not your choice.”
“No, it’s yours.” He exhaled loudly enough for her to hear it. “Lied to protect you, Fallon. Lied ‘cause… Fuck! ‘Cause I love you. For fuck’s sake, didn’t realize it at the time ‘cause I’ve never loved a woman before. Didn’t realize what it was. Now I do. Now I know. So, ain’t gonna lie. I’m puttin’ it out there and you do what you gotta do with it.”
“I don’t know if I can get past what you and your club did, Whip.”
“Know you don’t know the reason behind it. Know you don’t know the history. But know this, the rest of the sisterhood knows all that and more. And all of them, every fuckin’ one, is still standin’ by their ol’ man. They wouldn’t if what happened wasn’t warranted. Promise you that. Did they like it? Fuck no. Did they realize it was necessary? Fuck yes.” He paused. “Bottom line is we do what we gotta do to protect our own. That included you. Still does. Always will.”
She pressed a hand to her forehead, trying to make sense of his words. To make sense out of having to do something so extreme to protect the people you loved and cared for.
“I don’t want you to do things like that for me. Not ever.” She would never want to be the cause of death and destruction. What made her life worth any more than theirs?
