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“I can’t.”
“Look at me, Battle. Why won’t you look at me?”
“Because it hurts. Every time I look at you, I tell myself to stay away. It’s the best thing for you.”
“Why?” Conflict reflects back at me from the depths of his impossibly blue eyes. “What are you so afraid of?”
“I’m afraid of changin’ you. I can’t let that happen, because I’m in love with who you are.”
Tears slip, burning my skin as they flow continually down my cheeks. I knew he loved me. I move closer to him, until our foreheads join. “You’ve already changed me, McCoy. I love you, too. You taught me love can be a surprise. You’ve taught me life isn’t planned. You’ve also taught me that a love like ours can’t be ignored. You can push me away all you want, but my heart will always be yours.”
“Unless you die. What then?”
There’s the truth I already knew. “We’re all dyin’, and we on
ly have a short time to find happiness. Do you want to be miserable because you’re afraid?”
“No,” he admits, and turns his body away from me. “I want my mother back.”
“I want her back, too, but it’s doesn’t work that way, and I think she’d want you to be happy.”
I pull on his arm, urging him to look at me and when he does, the smile he delivers gives me hope. The final stage. We’ll be okay.
“I can’t believe you drove all the way out here, and … ah, shit,” he says, his smile sliding off his lips. He reaches for the dice. I’m confused, but I roll, a six. He sighs, but smiles when he rolls a five. “Ask me,” he says. It takes me a minute to register what he wants me to know. I don’t think I can get the words out. “Please. Ask me.”
“I … I don’t care.” I say, placing my hands on top of his shoulders.
“Ask me,” he insists, and I know he’s not going to let it go.
My hands fall from his shoulders as a searing pain shoots through my heart. Do I care? Will knowing change how I feel? I draw circles on my jeans with the tip of my index finger, searching for the courage to say the words.
He grips my chin and lifts my head. “Ask!”
“Have you been with anyone else?” I ask quickly, resisting the urge to cover my ears.
His fingers slide along my jaw, until he cups my cheek. He holds my gaze and answers, “No.” I exhale and can’t hold back my smile. “There have been girls, but I didn’t sleep with any of them. That girl last night followed me in here. I told her to beat it, and I passed out.”
Her account was a little more dignified, but I believe him. “She looked pretty disappointed, claims you asked her.”
He shrugs. “She looked like you enough, I thought I could forget. About the time that door closed, I knew I was wrong.”
I jab him in the arm, laughing. “When are you gonna learn, I’m not so easy to forget?”
“About eight hours ago.” He grins, shaking his head.
“Promise me no more runnin’. I love all of you, Battle McCoy. Even the parts you don’t think are worth lovin’ because they make you who you are. Don’t push me away when you can’t talk about somethin’ and don’t ever say you don’t love me. If you need space, tell me, and if you need to lean on me, I’ll be here to hold you up. I’ll always be here.”
“I promise.” His fingers skate along my jaw as his thumb removes a tear from my cheek. “I don’t deserve you.”
“I beg to differ, cowboy.” I shove him onto his back, straddling him.
“What are you up to, sweetheart?”
I can’t resist teasing him. He groans loudly when I rock my hips against him. I grab his hands and pin them above his head as I brush our noses together. “We deserve a happy ending,” I whisper. “I’ve missed you.”
His hooded eyes gaze up at me before I’m flipped on my back. My breath catches as his fingers trail lightly over the exposed skin between my shirt and jeans. He growls next to my ear, his erection pressing into my hip. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“How should we make up for lost time?” I say as a challenge.
