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I try not to grin. Okay is her standard answer to pretend she’s not bothered with something, but this is serious.
“I don’t know how to say this without hurting you so I’m just going to say what I feel. I care about you, but I found out Maria left me to be with Eduardo because he threatened to kill me and her father if she didn’t. She loves me, and if . . . no, when my plan succeeds, I want her back.”
“Okay.”
“It’s not okay for me. I’m confused, and I think it will be easier on both of us if we don’t see each other anymore.”
“You mean easier for you. If you were so sure about your choice, you wouldn’t be confused.”
“Don’t you think I know that? I own my shit. I did this to myself. I have real feelings for you, but Maria and Javier were ripped out of my life and not a day goes by that I haven’t thought about them. I won’t allow them to be hostages to that animal because I met someone else. I can’t just fall out of love with her, or pretend I don’t know the sacrifices she’s made for me.”
“Okay.”
“Would you stop, please? I know it’s not okay. I’m a dick. Yell at me or something.” While I wait for her to respond, I can’t help but question if going back to Maria is a huge mistake. What if her text was just another way to play me? No, I have to believe she loves me. If I hold onto an ounce of doubt, I’ll miss the opportunity to get my family back. I care about Peyton, but ending this now is the right thing to do. “Truth?” Peyton nods. “I want you both.”
“What do you want me to say, Aidan? That I’m devastated? That I don’t understand how you can trust her? That I think you’re acting out of guilt and a misguided obligation to your son. Your fierce loyalty is your downfall. Do you want me to tell you I think you’re making a mistake? Because I do, but I can’t change how you feel.”
The more she talks the more furious I become. “The only mistake I made was taking a risk with you.”
Her eyes widen just before my cheek burns with the slap I earned. How could I say something so cruel?
“You bastard! Don’t be mean to me to ease your guilt.”
“Fuck, Peyton . . . that came out wrong.” I rub my cheek and look away. “I only meant that I always choose wrong.”
“And maybe you’re choosing wrong again.”
She slides out of bed, wrapping the sheet around her body and goes into the bathroom. My heart feels like it’s been ripped in two and I have no one to blame but myself. Maybe wanting to be with Maria is the wrong choice, but ironically, it was Peyton who taught me that some risks are worth taking. It doesn’t matter because I’m willing to lose everything I have to get my family back, including Peyton.
For six days, I’ve tried to ignore how much I miss Peyton. Days of reflection have forced me to be honest with myself. I love her. I don’t want to, but I do. However, I did the right thing letting her go. My heart belongs to someone else.
My focus has been on work and on finalizing the demise of Eduardo Montez. On getting my family back and healing until the three of us feel normal again. I’ve avoided my family, including Liv who texted a few minutes ago to see if I’d walk her down the aisle. How can she ask me to give her a way to a man I know will eventually hurt her?
I stare at the screen as I wrestle with answering. No matter what I decide, I’m wrong. Not agreeing makes be just as terrible a brother as pretending to be happy for her. Still unsure, I reply that I need to think about it.
When my phone vibrates, I expect to see Liv’s response telling me to fuck off and that she never wants to speak to me again, but it’s from Maria.
M: I’m sorry I haven’t responded to your texts, but Marco keeps the phone until it’s safe for me to use it.
Marco’s aware of our communications. I knew he’d never be loyal to Montez. We were almost friends before all of this went down.
T: It’s okay. I know you don’t have a lot of time, but you need to do something for me. Tell Marco to keep this phone nearby and if I text you the word sunset, I need you to take Javier and leave the mansion. Promise me you’ll do this for me.
M: What is your plan?
A small part of me feels the hustle. Maybe it’s there and maybe it isn’t. Only time will tell if I can truly trust her.
T: I can’t tell you yet. Just promise you’ll leave when I text you
M. I promise, and I should go. He’s expecting me. I love you.
T: I love you, too, sweet girl.
Sweet girl . . . two words that always make me feel safe. I beam with happiness as I head downstairs to join Eduardo for dinner.
The bruises on my face, although faded, still hurt, but they’ll heal. My heart is whole and strong and refuses to let Eduardo defeat me. I put on the face of his happy wife and stroll into the dining room where I take my place in the seat next to him. He hasn’t said a single word to me in six days, so when he says hello, I’m surprised.
“I trust you are through interfering in my business?”
