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I release a laugh with my next breath.
“I’m sorry,” I begin, pausing a moment to breathe. She looks slightly worried and she should be. “I have a bad habit of fucking up.”
“I’m aware.” She giggles, letting me know she’s teasing.
“But I have Javier now and I can’t afford to mess shit up. Every decision I make from here on out has to be right. And this . . . I mean you . . .” Her expression saddens and I realize she thinks I’m here to say good-bye. “Hey let me finish.” She nods faintly. “You were the only choice I ever made that was right and I want to try to be the man you think I am.” The gorgeous smile she provides gives me the strength I need to continue. “I want what you want, but it’s going to be a fight. When I lost Maria, a big piece of me died with her.”
She looks at me like she thinks I might bolt but then smiles, placing her small hand on my chest. “Then let me in and maybe we can find a new piece to fit.”
I’m well aware that missing piece will never be replaced. But I refuse to say it to her right now. Instead I lower my head to look into her eyes. “I suck at communicating how I feel, so I’m going to kiss you now and when I do, I want you to feel me letting you in. I want you to feel that you’re the only woman I’ll ever let in.” I finish in a whisper and take her lips, delivering the promise I just made and praying she comprehends my sincerity.
In mere seconds, we’re pulling at each other’s clothes, greedily wanting to satisfy the need that consumes us both. Once we’re naked, the desire to take my time kicks in. We’ve been apart for a long time. I want to learn every inch of her body all over again. Rushing won’t allow me to feel and I need to feel her, taste her and devour every inch of her. I need to disappear for a while from the weight of life, the responsibilities of fatherhood and all of my failures. More though, this is about Peyton. I want her to feel that whatever part of me is left belongs to her.
Securing my hands on her hips stops her from touching me, which she responds by grumbling under her breath.
“I want to see you,” I say taking a step back as my eyes slowly study the curves and points of her perfect body. Her tits, highlighted with tightly-budded pink nipples, makes my dick twitch and her creamy thighs beg to be touched.
When I drop to my knees in front of her, her hands immediately tangle in my hair. I slowly caress her left thigh in between my hands, feeling her shiver. As my hand on her inner thigh rises, I enjoy the slight shaking of her body. Her desire wetting my fingertips causes my balls to tighten and my dick commands me to take action, but I won’t, not until I’ve made Peyton scream.
“Spread your legs,” I command softly, pushing her thighs apart with my hands.
She complies, inching her feet across the carpet until her legs are spread wide. I grip the backs of her thighs in my hands as I lower my head, inhaling the scent of her arousal. “I’ve missed you.” When I slip two fingers inside her, she clamps tight around me, letting out a wild cry as her head tilts back.
I take my time, working my tongue slowly at first but gaining speed with the subtle commands of her body. Her clit twitches and her legs jerk every few seconds, but I don’t stop. I’m waiting for full-on convulsions, for the moment when she pulls my hair, screams my name, and surrenders to me.
“Relax,” I coax, pushing my fingers in and out of her. “Let go, baby. Give in and give me what I want. Come for me and then I’ll know you’re mine.”
“Oh, God.” Her breath stutters as her legs lock tight.
I don’t give her long to ride out this wave of bliss before I lower her to the floor and bury myself inside of her. As I lift my head and get a good look at the lust raging in her gaze, I nearly lose control. There’s no mistaking how perfect we are together like this. As I move my hips, there’s no question how right she is for me. How she’s exactly who I should be with because she is the only woman capable of loving me despite my flaws. With each thrust, my breaths come out in loud groans. I’m intoxicated, the affair mind-numbing, and then it hits me.
When I chose Maria . . . I chose wrong.
It was always Peyton.
I shake my head, because with the revelation comes guilt. I have to stay with Peyton in this moment before the consequences of my mistake consume me.
Her moaning brings me back. My hand slips up the back of her smooth thigh until I’m palming her ass and pounding harder. I need her so much it’s painful.
A year without sex is sure to make me come early, but knowing that doesn’t stop me from slowly moving and hitting the same spot inside of her that makes her back arch. We have all night and I’m not leaving this room until we’ve made up for lost time.
As I settle over her, pushing deep and bringing my forehead to rest on hers, she closes her eyes. “Open your eyes. I need to see you when you come.”
I need to see her eyes and see how she feels so I can feel it too.
A whimper leaves her mouth as her jaw clenches tight, but her eyes stay focused on mine. Pressure mounts in my chest as I absorb the pure adoration I see reflecting back at me and I’m a fucking goner.
Strong, muscled arms hold me as soft, delicious lips kiss my shoulder. I’ve waited so long for this, for him and it feels like a dream until he reminds me he’s really here. “I have rug burn on my knees and as much as I’d love to stay like this, I need food. And you have nothing here.”
I lift my head, looking up at him. “Kinda your fault.”
He grins and for the first time in a long time, I don’t see resistance in his eyes. He’s not fighting me or what just happened between us. I see contentment and that’s exactly what I feel. My only concern now is how long it will last once we leave my place and dive back into our lives. The last few hours hasn’t erased what he’s been through. He’ll fight again, but I’ll never let him win. I won’t let him go back. We move forward from here, even if I have to drag him kicking and screaming.
Only an hour later, after renting a car and having ours towed to a repair shop, we are eating dinner at a restaurant near his loft. Aidan’s quiet, like he always is when he’s letting his thoughts run out of control.
Knowing he’s thinking about Maria crushes my spirit, but I signed up for this. He told me being with him wouldn’t be easy. He needs me to be the strength that holds us up. And I will. I’ll restrain my insecurities and keep them buried deep inside until he’s strong enough to see them. Whatever it takes to make him whole again, I’ll do it. I would sacrifice anything for him.
Smot
