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“Come on, then,” I said, standing and grabbing his hand, tugging him back toward the door.
He laughed but complied. We held hands and got a running start, belly flopping onto the bed, together this time. Again, I laughed until I ached and he laughed with me. For a moment, it was just the two of us alone in the world with no burdens to bear.
After changing back into my t-shirt and returning Brent’s to him, I climbed under the fluffy covers, resting my head on the plush pillow and let out a heavy sigh. Brent lay down next to me, on top of the covers, as promised. He pulled a stray feather from my hair and we both chuckled.
Brent was a little tense next to me, shifting often, as though he was debating whether he should be here. I felt so tiny lying next to his large frame. I felt safer when he was close to me, as I supposed I should. Protecting me was what he was designed to do. It was inherent in him.
We talked for a while. He told me about his parents and his siblings. He had two older sisters who drove him crazy. They used to dress him up when he was little, make up and all. He talked about his little brother Liam, and how close they had become since he had been home. He talked about playing catch with Liam in the backyard, and what a great fastball he had for a kid. I told him how I always wanted a sister growing up, someone to hang out with that I wouldn’t have to worry about leaving. It wasn’t a possibility for my parents. Something happened during my delivery, and they told my mom she would never have another child. My mom was grateful for the one healthy baby she had been gifted and was happy.
He finally put an end to conversing – telling me to sleep in a way I knew was not a request.
Unable to sleep, I laid there for a while, tossing and turning, feeling Brent’s gaze. I assumed he was watching to make sure I wasn’t crying. His thoughtfulness tugged at my emotions. I rolled on my side facing him, wide awake, but kept my eyes closed. Shifting a little, I pretended to be restlessly sleeping. An internal need to be next to him filled me until I thought I would burst and I moved closer to him. Brent’s breath hitched at my closeness, but he didn’t push me away. I lifted my head from the pillow, still pretending to sleep, and brought it to rest on his chiseled chest, breathing in his warm, powdery smell. F
eeling the warmth from his body on my cheek, I allowed it to soothe me. Brent inhaled deeply but made no effort to resist. Twisting slightly, I brought my arm closer to his body. When he didn’t move, I plopped it down on his abs in a manner that didn’t appear intentional. Feeling each ripple of muscle under my palm, heat surged through me. I felt his body stiffen beneath me, struggling with my nearness. He lifted his head from the pillow slightly but lay back down. Taking a deep breath, he gently pulled his arm from under me, lifting it above his head, and rested it on the pillow. Listening to his thundering heartbeat was the last thing I remembered.
CHAPTER 7
“Soul mates tend to find each other during their respective pursuits of their soul missions. Creating a soul mate could be seen as a spiritual reward that we give ourselves, after pursuing many soul contracts rife with discord.” – Linda Brady
Light spilled into the giant room from every window. I was extremely hot and opened my eyes to see why. Brent and I were molded together in a perfect sculpture of human form. He had fallen asleep. He said he wouldn’t but he did. The alarm clock said it was after eleven. I never slept so late. Moving my head slightly, I stared at his beautiful face, trying not to wake him, knowing I was falling for him, hard. Having grown up avoiding developing feelings for anyone, I was puzzled by how strongly I felt for him after only a couple of days.
You’ve known him your entire life.
He said we couldn’t be together, but I didn’t care. I knew how I felt about him and I knew he felt something too, no matter how much he denied it. Reaching up – my urge too strong to ignore – I ran my hand from his temple to his strong jaw. He bolted upright.
“Claire, what’s wrong? Are you all right?” he asked anxiously. His breathing was rapid as he looked around the room.
“I’m good,” I assured him, smiling impishly. “I’m better than good, actually.”
Shifting away from me, he hung his feet over the side of the bed.
“I can’t believe I fell asleep. Jesus Claire, what are you doing to me?” He ran his hand through his hair furiously. I had come to learn that action was something he did this when he was upset. I found it incredibly sexy.
“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling guilty for pushing.
“Look, you just need to understand a few things. Our kind, have certain guidelines – rules if you will. There are things that are predetermined and beyond our control, and designed specifically for each of us. The protocol is to be orderly and run smoothly and you just keep breaking all the rules, Claire. I can’t think clearly around you and things I’ve always controlled easily are suddenly difficult. It’s so frustrating. You’re driving me insane,” he confessed, glaring at me with those piercing blue eyes.
There he goes again, talking about our life being designed for us and beyond our control. If he didn’t want to be with me I wished he would just say it. He didn’t need to be so passive aggressive. I could take it.
My eyes burned as the tears started. He turned back to me, putting his hand gently on my jaw, brushing my cheek with his thumb.
“Please don’t cry,” he said, his voice cracking. “I don’t mean to hurt you. We just have some things to figure out. It will be okay.”
I nodded.
“Look, why don’t you take a shower. I’ll make breakfast and we can talk about all of this while we eat?” he offered.
I agreed, needing a minute to clear my head. Deciding on a bath, I filled the huge tub with lavender bubble bath. While waiting for the tub to fill, I observed my pale skin in the mirror, noticing the marks on my neck were darker than before. It irked me. I sunk into the scolding hot water. It was exactly what I needed. My body relaxed. The lavender was soothing, smelling divine, as though the sweetly scented bulbs were blooming in that very room.
Enjoying the aroma of the suds, I thought about what Brent said that we ‘couldn’t’ be together. How could he deny it? It was simple chemistry. Chemists have written a lot about human chemical reaction in recent years. It was simple pheromones. The bodies involved release them, and if a reaction occurred, the bond was formed. Just like magnets. If you hold one next to iron or steel, the attraction occurs until the magnet bonds. Put the magnet next to carbon and the magnet repels, unable to bond. Chemical bonding was something I knew could not be scientifically denied. How Brent could not understand that was driving me crazy. Perhaps he did understand it, but couldn’t accept it.
A sickening thought came to me as I recalled what he said.
Our kind have certain guidelines – rules if you will, things that are predetermined and beyond our control, designed specifically for each of us.
Oh, hell no! No-no-no-no-no. The thought crashed through me like a brick through a glass window. We couldn’t be together because I was designed for someone else. That had to be it – why he pushed me away – why he wouldn’t return my affection. He had hinted as much when we discussed A Room with a View. I didn’t know who it was that designed us, or whatever it was, but if they thought they got to choose who I fell in love with, they were very mistaken. I hurriedly exited the tub, determined to confront Brent.
Entering the bedroom, I spotted my bag and looked through it for clothes to put on. The smell of cooked bacon filled the room. My stomach grumbled loudly in response. Trying to remember when I ate last, I quickly dressed and headed downstairs calling Brent’s name. He didn’t answer. Anxious thoughts zipped through my mind, assuming something awful happened. I calmed my overactive imagination, took a deep breath and went out to the deck. I heard him below. He set up breakfast up on a small table in the garden.
