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consequences for that right? Perhaps everything was off because I was refusing Reese.
Extending my hand out to grab Reese’s, I expected the contact might change everything, and suddenly I would forget how I felt about Brent. The kind of shift in feelings I had read about. I would be satisfied. If it was meant to be, then that is how it would be. Comfortable in my choice, I embraced my destiny for the first time. I won’t let Brent go, wanting him in my life, but I would give Reese the opportunity to fulfill his purpose. As our hands connected, I felt only guilt because nothing happened. No spark, no chemical reaction, nothing. Brent said it was not an instant thing, like imprinting, but I would not be able to fight it, that I would need Reese. But I didn’t feel anything and I could fight it. The only one I needed was Brent.
My mind wrestled with my feelings for the two of them, yet Brent remained the only victor. A few snap shot pictures flashed through my mind, Brent and I together, a few holding hands, a few kissing, a wedding cake and one of a quaint yellow house with white shutters – day lilies lined the driveway. My subconscious was screaming at me that I had obligations, and needed to grow up, but the photo album on display in my head was undeniable. Reese watched me warily as he looked into my eyes. He knew the truth.
Pulling my hand away, I felt my insides pang with guilt.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, begging for his understanding.
Reese came closer, embracing my cheek in his palm. “Hey, it’s fine, Claire, don’t apologize.” His words were sincere but they could not mask his disappointment. “I know this is overwhelming and I didn’t make it any easier barging in here the way I did. I’ve loved you my entire life and realizing you haven’t loved me back is hard. I had this idea in my head that it would be easy for us and when it wasn’t, it drove me crazy. The day you sat across from me at the lunch table I wanted to throw my arm around you and scream to everyone that you were mine, and you barely noticed I was there. It hurt, and then I heard what Logan was thinking about you and I wanted to rip his throat out.”
How could he have known what Logan was thinking about me? But then I remembered he probably had some abilities too.
“Wait, you read minds?” I asked.
Answering carefully, he began. “Yes, but only if someone’s thoughts are about you and they’re meant to cause you harm. Logan’s were filled with malice. I tried ignoring them so I wouldn’t make a scene. Every fiber in me was begging me to go over and hurt him, but how would I have explained it, if I let that happen?” He continued, telling me that after a while, he couldn’t take it anymore. “I went over and let him know that if he didn’t stop making you uncomfortable, he would have to deal with me. He tried to deny it at first. Of course, he didn’t know I could read his thoughts, so he stuck with telling me that you were a freak. He finally agreed to layoff when he realized I wasn’t persuaded. You must have thought something, but I couldn’t look at you when I came back. I had to be closer to you. I was afraid he might actually try to hurt you, even after my warning. I’m sorry I lost my temper. I just wanted you to be safe, Claire,” he finished
Reese had been forthcoming and completely sincere. Silence fell between us while I recalled the first time we met. He wasn’t staking a claim to be like I had thought. He was defending me, shielding me from Logan’s wrath. I thought badly of him, and he only considered my safety. This was as hard for him as it was for me. Stubbornly, I had only allowed for how I was feeling, which also made me selfish.
Reese trailed his fingers down my cheek to my neck, tracing the hideous markings. “You have no idea how angry these make me,” he said looking confounded.
I knew he was asking my permission to remove them. “Go ahead. It’s okay,” I swallowed nervously, granting his unspoken request.
Rubbing his hands together vigorously, he inhaled sharply, before placing his hands gently on the markings. He waited several seconds before pulling his hands away. His eye brows creased, his expression demoralized. His eyes were silently asking questions and he looked towards Brent for answers. “I don’t understand.”
Brent looked me over. “I don’t either,” he said, sounding as confused as Reese.
“It didn’t work, right? I still have the markings?” I asked them both, though I already knew their answer.
Brent was the first to respond.
“Yes Claire, you do, but don’t worry. We’ll figure it out,” he said, trailing his fingers down my cheek, erasing my stress.
“What are you talking about?” Reese asked Brent fiercely. “There’s nothing to figure out. Her feelings for you are getting in the way. She can’t accept me in the way she is supposed to, so I can’t help her. Don’t you see that? I haven’t been able to read any thoughts related to her since the Couriers came to Maggie’s. I thought it was because she was safe. But, it’s obviously because of whatever is going on between the two of you.”
Was he right? Were my feelings for Brent hindering his abilities?
“Brent, you said something was off, that things were not happening the way they were supposed to. There has to be a reason for that. Maybe Reese is right.” I said the words, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe them.
Clarity suddenly circled my thoughts, focusing on the only possible answer. I didn’t have any experience with falling in love, but I had read countless romance novels. In those novels, the characters found their soul mates. The feelings of fictional characters written on page after page spoke to me. Their feelings were the same feelings I had for Brent, which prompted me to recall another passage from my book.
“It isn’t possible to love and part. You will wish that it was. You can transmute love, ignore it, muddle it, but you can never pull it out of you. I know by experience that the poets are right: love is eternal.”
Recognition flashed through my memory. It was the reoccurring dream I had been having, about meeting a boy on the first day of school – a boy I fell in love with. In my dream the boy was faceless, hidden behind blurry light. The boy in my mind right now was the same boy from my dream, but he was not faceless.
“It’s you, Brent, it’s always been you,” I insisted.
Staring at me more intensely than he ever had, he tugged my hands to his chest. I expected him to deny me but he continued to gaze into my eyes, reading my emotions, exploring my thoughts.
“It’s you,” he replied. “I’ve had the same dream, Claire.”
As though controlled by a force other than my own, I slid close to Brent, placing my forehead on his. Visions circled inside my head of the two of us, but they were not of past events. They were pictures of memories that hadn’t happened yet. I saw the same miniature version of Brent as before. Only this time we were camping on a lake. Brent was chasing him through a field and little Brent was yelling back, “you can’t catch me, you can’t catch me.” Brent finally reached the boy, tossing him into the air above his shoulders, both of them laughing cheerfully.
As I released the connection, I looked at Brent, his slack-jawed expression telling me he saw the same thing. He smiled down at me lovingly and whispered, “wow” while removing his forehead from mine. Wrapping his soft hands around my neck, he slid his fingers up under my jaw, and I thought he was going to kiss me.
Pulling away, he glowered at my neck. I knew what he was going to do. Rubbing his hands together, he placed his fingers on the markings in the same way Reese had moments ago. Judging by Reese’s reaction, it was working.
“I don’t believe it,” Brent uttered in barely a whisper.
