AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“And why should I believe your apologies this time, huh, Roselle, when I’ve heard them over and over?”
“B
ecause this time I’m apologizing not because I have to, Bren, but because I need to. I want to. All the other times, I just told you what I thought you wanted to hear and what I thought I needed to say, knowing damn well—the first chance I got, the first piece of willing ass—I was gonna cheat on you. So this time, Bren. I really mean it.”
The sincerity in his tone chilled her.
Wait . . .
Brenda blinked.
“Roselle, what the hell is going on here, huh? Are you dying?”
Roselle chuckled. “Nah, nah, baby. I’m good.”
“Is some bitch pregnant?”
Roselle frowned. “Hell nah. I’ve never fucked any of them hoes raw, Bren. Damn. Give me more credit than that.”
Brenda frowned. “Then what the hell is going on? You’re scaring me right now.”
Roselle shrugged. “I don’t know, Bren. This island, all these sessions . . . you.”
“What about me?”
“ I love you.”
“I know you do. And I love you.”
Dr. Dangerfield fought to keep from rolling her eyes.
“So what is really going on here, Roselle? You’re night dying. You don’t have some bitch pregnant, but you’re sitting here—”
Roselle closed his eyes, and sighed. “I’ma fuck-up, baby. And yet you still love me—even when I’ve been at my worst.” He opened his eyes, and then reached for Brenda’s hand. “You’ve been the best thing that has ever happened to me, Bren. And I’ve done nothing but shit on you with other women. You don’t deserve that. Sometimes I don’t think I deserve you, baby. But I love you with everything in me; however, it doesn’t always feel like it’s enough; feel me? So I sex you down the way I do because I feel that’s all I have to give.”
Brenda just stared at him. What was he looking for? Forgiveness? Understanding? Confessions? Finally she blinked, taking him in. Seeing the pain in Roselle’s eyes, something she’d never seen before, almost made her want to fall to her knees and declare her own indiscretions. But how could she ever tell him that she allowed his cheating, accepted it, because sometimes she felt as if it was what she deserved. How could she ever admit to sleeping with his brother?
Renaldo.
God—she couldn’t even remember if it had been good.
It was only once. One night of despair, fueled by yet another night of Roselle missing in action—filled with tears and a few shots of Jack Daniel’s—and one thing had led to another. Before she knew it, her skirt was up, her panties yanked to the side, and Renaldo was dicking her down—raw.
Twenty minutes later, his thick, sticky dick was being stuffed back inside his boxers, his designer jeans were being zipped, and—along with the promise of taking their dirty deed to the grave—he was walking out the door, back to his family.
To this day, Brenda was still haunted by what she’d done. And every time she had to look into the eyes of her beautiful eight-year-old daughter, she was reminded of that sordid night, wondering if Roselle was her daughter’s father or not.
So, yes, she put up with his cheating. Not because she wanted to, but because she had to. Her own guilt wouldn’t allow her not to.
“I don’t wanna keep cheating on you,” Roselle said, “but I can’t promise you that I won’t.” His eyes were bleak, his face filled with a pain she’d never seen before.
Brenda’s heart pounded wildly in her chest. Was he about to ask her for a divorce? No, no. She hadn’t come way out here for Roselle to have some epiphany, some dame “come to Jesus” moment. She wanted her marriage. And she wanted him—the good, the bad and the ugly. Because the naked truth was, she wasn’t that goddamn good. She’d done some wrong. And that was her cross to bear.
“I’m not leaving you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Brenda said.
Roselle sighed, and then slowly shook his head. “Maybe you should, Bren. It would serve me right. From the rip, I needed you to make it clear that I was lucky to have you, that you wouldn’t give me a second chance if I ever cheated on you once we got married. But instead, you kept taking me back. You kept letting me cheat on you, Bren. Sometimes I resent you for that.”
What the fuck was going on here? Roselle couldn’t believe he was admitting this to her. But here he was. He wasn’t blaming Brenda for his cheating ways, but she’d made it easy for him to keep doing it, as did all of the other women in his past.
