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“She said I was actin’ like a wild baboon on the bus, then pulled me by my ear and twisted it. And all the kids started laughin’ and teasin’ me, makin’ monkey noises.”
“That bitch did what?” I ask, placin’ a hand up on my hip. “And why the fuck did she put her goddamn hands on you?”
“Because he kept standin’ and turnin’ around in his seat, horseplayin’,” Tyquan says, walkin’ back into the kitchen.
“I was not horseplayin’, punk!” Fuquan screams at the top of his lungs. “So mind your stupid business!”
I take a deep breath, then smile at Tyquan, usin’ my nice mommy’s voice. “Thank you, sweetheart. But Mommy wants to hear this from your brother.”
“But all he’s gonna do is lie.”
“Am not!”
“Will to! Because you like to lie.”
“Look. Stop all this goddamn yellin’ up before I beat the shit outta both of you. I’m tryna be goddamn nice up in this bitch, but y’all takin’ me there. Now, Tyquan, do you have any homework?” He tells me no. I tell him to go take his ass into the livin’ room and watch television and leave his brother alone. I bring my attention back to Fuquan. “Now what were you doin’ on the bus? And don’t you lie.”
“I wasn’t doin’ nothin’. I was playin’ my game and that asshole, Rasheed, kept blowin’ spitballs at me because I wouldn’t let him play it.”
“Well, why didn’t you tell Missus Sweeney on his ass?”
“I did. And every time she wasn’t lookin’, he kept doin’ it. Then she told me to stop bein’ a tattle-tale and worry about what’s goin’ on in my own seat. I got mad and got up and screamed in his face and told him I was gonna fuck him up if he didn’t stop.”
“Liar!” Tyquan yells from the livin’ room. “Fu kept gettin’ up out of his seat while the bus was goin’ and Missus Sweeney kept tellin’ him to sit down. And he wouldn’t. He stuck his tongue out at her. Then told her to eat his ass.”
“I did not!”
“You did so, liar!”
Next thing I know Fuquan runs out of the kitchen into the livin’ room and jumps on Tyquan. The two of them start fightin’. And I have to run in and break them up. Now I gotta fuck ’em both up for not gettin’ along.
“I’m sick of this shit! Y’all brothers, goddammit! And I’m not gonna have this shit up in here, both of y’all fightin’ each other! Now don’t have me goin’ to jail today for breakin’ your goddamn arms up in here!” I swing Fuquan by the arm and he flies into the recliner. “Now, Fuquan, I’m warnin’ ya black ass. Don’t have me goin’ up in that school tomorrow ready to whoop Missus Sweeney’s ass. Now tell me the truth. Did she twist your goddamn ears or are you just sayin’ it ’cause you pissed at her?”
He folds his arms, then pokes out his lips. “I don’t like her.”
“Well, that’s too goddamn bad. Now did she put her hands on you or not?”
I actually have to smack up his face a few times before he finally answers me and admits he was lyin’ on her. I beat his ass some more. That’s one thing I don’t play is that lyin’ shit. Tell me the truth, goddammit! My kids know I will fuck a bitch up in a minute over them. But they also know I will fuck them up just as fast.
“And don’t you ever let me hear about you cussin’ an adult out again. I’m not gonna have no goddamn gutter mouth up in here. Do that shit again and I’ma snatch ya motherfuckin’ tongue out. You gotta lotta damn nerve. You don’t even know how to wash the shit out right and you tellin’ some goddamn body to eat ya nasty ass out. Where the fuck you hear that nasty shit from, any-damn-way?”
“You,” they both say.
I finish whoopin’ his lyin’-ass, then go into my bathroom to light me a damn blunt. I take a few deep pulls to calm my nerves, then make myself a mental note to call Darius to bring me some more of this good shit when he comes over. I take two more p
ulls, then put it out, feelin’ a whole lot more relaxed. I decide to save the rest for later. These goddamn kids are goin’ to drive me crazy, I think, walkin’ out of my bedroom, then goin’ back into the kitchen to finish cookin’ dinner.
The rest of the night it’s quiet up in here. Actually, a little too quiet, which makes me get up and do a quick run-through to make sure the twins aren’t tryna burn the house down. Fuquan is sleep. And Tyquan is watchin’ cartoons. I check on everyone else. Day’Asia’s in her nasty-ass bedroom runnin’ her mouth on her cell, and on her laptop Skypin’. Elijah’s playin’ some game on PS3, waitin’ for his fahver to come pick him up. And Marquelle, Joshua and Isaiah are all already out with their big-dicked daddies.
I head back to my room and call Darius to re-up my stash, then ask him to sit with Day’Asia and the twins.
“Damn, Ma,” he says, suckin’ his teeth. “Day’Asia’s old enough to stay home and watch them by herself. When I was her age you had me watchin’ Da’Quan and them all the time.”
“That’s because you were responsible. And I could trust you. Now how many times I gotta say this. You know I don’t trust Day’Asia’s ass up in here alone.”
“Yeah, whatever. Shit’s still retarded. No reason why she can’t watch them.”
“Darius, don’t have me go off, okay? All I wanna do is go out and have me a few drinks without worryin’ that my house is gonna be tore up when I get back.”
