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The phone lines are lit up.
“Go ’head, caller…you’re on the air.”
“Man, fuc—bleep that. I woulda beat both their asses that night; word to mother, yo. I’m out bustin’ my ass workin’ ‘n’ holdin’ shit down ‘n’ you behind my back ridin’ some rubber dic—bleep, tryna play me for some sucker…” Dude huffs into the phone. “Hell, nah. Both y’all’s asses gettin’ handled.”
I shake my head. “So, you think it’s aiight for a cat to put his hands on a woman? By the way, what’s your name? And where you calling from?”
“Oh, my bad. This’s Truth from East Orange. And, nah, I don’t think it’s cool for any man to put his hands on a woman. Real men, don’t beat real women. He gets his girl cousins or sisters to stomp her ass. Feel me? But bitches who on some grimy shit, or them stud bitches swingin’ dic—bleeps hell yeah. Fuc—bleep what ya heard, fam, I’ma equal opportunity ass whooper. You dickin’ my girl like you a dude, then you gettin’ that ass handled.”
Oh, this muhfucka’s thinking is real fucked up. “I heard that, playboy. Thanks for calling in.” I end the call. “Next caller. What’s ya comment? You’re on the air.”
“Oh, hi. This Twinkie from Fairlawn…”
Twinkie? What the fuck? “Oh, aiight, Twinkie. What’s ya comment, ma-ma?”
“Well, I wanna say, I understand the guy who caught his wife in bed with his sister being upset and doing what he did. He was shocked and felt disrespected. I know because the same thing happened to my husband.”
I blink. Sit up in my seat. “Say, what? Ya hubby caught you in bed with his sister, too?”
“No, no. He caught me in bed with the same woman we’d had a threesome with.”
I swallow. “Damn. How’d that happen?”
“What? The threesome? Or him catching us?”
“Both,” I say, glancing over into the control room at Nina. She shakes her head, smiling.
“Well, the threesome was my husband’s idea. He’d been asking for one for years, and I’d kept telling him no. But then, for my thirtieth birthday, we went to this sex club in New York and…. liked it. So when he asked me a few months later about doing a threesome with one of his coworkers, I said okay…”
“Damn, ma-ma.” I adjust my headphones as I talk. “So it was good like that?”
“Yes,” she says softly. “It made me curious for more. And I wanted to finally give my husband what he wanted.”
“Oh, aiight. So then what happened? Don’t hold back now, baby? Give us the nasty.”
She chuckles, then lets out a heavy sigh. “Well, the nasty is, he brought his coworker home, who I knew and felt comfortable with, and the three of us”—she clears her throat—“well, we did what grown folks do behind closed doors. Afterward, she went her way, and my husband and I continued doing what we do.”
Will she get to the fuckin’ juicy shit already, damn! I sigh. “So what happened next?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about that night. And started questioning if I were a lesbian or not. I never had those kinds of feelings or thoughts before. But,” she pauses, “I don’t know. S
omething must have happened that night. It made me come alive or something. All I know is, I started seeing her behind my husband’s back. And the one day that my husband decided to come home for lunch…” She pauses again, then sniffles. “He catches us.”
“Oh, damn. What’d he do?”
“He cursed his coworker out and told her to get out. Then he stood there and watched her get dressed. Then when she left, he went off on me. Accusing me of always being a lesbian. He called me all types of undercover dykes and other dirty, hurtful names. And telling our two kids that I’m a whore.”
“Damn.” I shake my head. “That’s crazy.”
“I know. Now he wants a divorce. And he wants custody of our kids. My whole life is a mess.”
Poor thing.
“I’m sorry to hear how things turned out for you. But like I always tell peeps, threesomes are nice fantasies, but they’re not meant to be every couple’s reality. Most peeps can’t handle what might pop off afterward. All it takes is one person to disrupt your whole world…”
I shift in my seat. Relieved that things with that nutty-ass Ramona chick hadn’t gotten much more crazy than her incessant phone calls and emails and idle threats. On some real shit, I’m just glad she finally got the hint. And we haven’t heard anything else from her.
I take a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “Stay lifted, ma-ma. Next caller. You’re on the air with ya boy, MarSell…”
