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Nope. Not really my style. Until Cooper.
Then again, I pretty much wanted to lick him like an ice cream cone 24/7.
He sat up straighter, and all sorts of things popped and snapped in his back. Gee, stress? Not us. I moved behind him and used my thumbs to work out all the kinks. He groaned enough that I wasn’t sure the soundproofing would hold out. Or my panties.
Be strong, Teagan.
“There’s no deeper story, babe. If anything happened to you, pretty sure I’d end up in jail. Period.” I paused in my massage, and he pulled me around to stand in front of him once more. “Look, your ex was a bastard. I’m not him. It’s not about controlling you. I just worry.”
“Can we not bring him into this?”
“Pat.”
“I can say his name, thank you.” I cupped my hands around Cooper’s brick of a head. A fierce protector for days, that was my guy, but damn, was he stubborn.
He caught my hands and brought them down to rest on his chest. “I won’t pretend that all of this doesn’t freak me out. If that makes me look like a chump, I really couldn’t give a shit. You’re important to me. Family-level important.”
I curled my fingers around his. “I know. The same goes for me.” I loved him. I wanted to say it right now, but I didn’t want him to think I was trying to manipulate him.
Even if I wanted to blurt it out with every breath.
“So, you understand.” He hooked his arm around my waist and tugged me closer. “Now can we have sex?”
“Is that all you think of?”
“Pretty sure you said it was all you thought of. I thought we could try that tongue-looking thing. It freaks me out, but if I tuck it along the back of you and hold you down while you thrash around a bit, it’s a win.”
I swallowed hard. Panty alert. Again.
“Maybe when I get back.”
He gave me a narrow-eyed look. “Still not good enough.”
I cupped his face. “I know you have things in your past. I see the way you and Noah are around each other. There’s obviously a lot of history there.”
He stiffened and stood up. “You know I don’t like to talk about that stuff.”
“I know.” He was so tall and proud, his soldier-like bearing taking over. I could practically see the armor strapping all his emotions down.
I rested my fingers along his ribs where his muscles rippled, thanks to hours behind his drums and all the other workouts he did with Oz. Even Zane had gotten him into some yoga to help with his back.
Then I traced my finger along the silvery scar just beside his tattoo, moving to the heavy lettering with the faint gray dog tags behind it. I read the words aloud. “The trouble is, you think you have time.”
He caught my finger, bringing it up to his mouth. “Those words are true. And I forgot myself for a while. I wasted too much time being afraid to lose your friendship.” He kissed the middle of my palm. “Thinking friends was enough for me.” He laid my hand on his cheek. “Stupid. You’re everything. I just was too much of a coward.”
My eyes filled. Dammit, I wasn’t going to cry.
“Benny was my best friend. We went through basic together. Hell, he pushed me until I puked getting through the tests for Rangers because he knew how important it was to me. He was the sole reason I got through it. We were closer than brothers. And I lost him.”
“You had a dangerous job.”
“I did. And I l
ost a helluva lot of brothers in the field on missions. Benny didn’t die on a mission. He died because of a careless moment in training, and it should have been me.”
I shook my head. Just the thought of him dying made my blood chill and my skin prickle with goosebumps.
“He pushed me out of the way.” His voice was less than a whisper. “I watched him go down. I watched him bleed out in front of my eyes. There wasn’t even time for a medic or a hospital. Just his blood pumping between my fingers.”
