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I was Wrecker Dallas’s kid. The Rangers had been his life and was supposed to be mine too. I didn’t even think about fighting it. Not until Benny. Until he’d died needlessly in my arms.
I hadn’t exactly been unhappy with the Rangers. It was a tight brotherhood, and I’d loved my unit. Hell, I’d even lost other friends in missions.
But Benny was different.
We’d come up from basic together. We’d trained together. When I was dragging and ready to quit, he’d convinced me to keep going. When he’d gotten married, I’d stood with him. And when he’d gotten divorced, I’d been the one to return the favor and get him motivated again.
I’d never had a brother until Benny.
Living in the land of estrogen with my mom and sister had made me a gentleman. The Rangers had taught me about life and the ugliness out there that we had to fight against. Until one too many of our missions had been politically fueled. Instead of fighting for our country it felt more like we were being used as a hammer.
Benny had been my only true tie to that life, and without him, the disillusionment had become a black hole of hatred and destructiveness. I’d had to get out, or I might’ve been the next body riddled with bullets. And I couldn’t do that to my mom.
My dad had died for his cause, but it wasn’t mine. And my recklessness wasn’t good for anyone, least of all my unit.
Noah didn’t understand that. He’d just considered me a deserter like more than half the unit had. I’d made peace with my decision, and while I would never accept the senseless death of my best friend, I could live my life honestly like Benny had. It was the only way I could honor him.
I hadn’t known when I walked into Club V in West Hollywood that my life would change. That a drunken brawl in the grimy dive would hand me those sticks again. The drummer in the crappy band had vaulted into the crowd and started a riot. By the end of it, he’d been hauled off.
The band—This Left Feels Right—had appealed to the crowd for help, and I’d had just enough beer to raise my hand and say that I could play.
I’d felt alive for the first time since Benny.
And by some twist of fate, Jamie had been in the crowd. She’d found me after the set. While not my finest hour as a drummer, she’d seen something in me.
Back then, Brooklyn Dawn couldn’t seem to keep a drummer. Whether it was typical male sexism at not wanting to play in a female-led band or fate, I couldn’t say. But it was as i
f they’d been waiting for me.
I glanced at Teagan, who was curled toward the car window. That same feeling had come over me the day she’d joined the band. A sense of rightness and fate stepping in. I’d found a best friend again, and God help me, I hoped for so much more.
I turned down her street. It was still blocked off from a few houses down. I spotted a sleek black BMW just outside her house. Typical wheels for the Roth people. Before we ended up with our babysitter, I needed to pull Teagan away from the edge.
I quickly parallel-parked in a spot a few yards away from the taped off area. Teagan was still staring out the window, making no move to unbuckle. I quietly unhooked my own and slid my fingers into her hair. “Teagan?”
“Hmm?” She turned to me with a frown then sat up. “We’re here?”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry. I spaced out. So much to think about.” She stared through the front windshield and shivered. “I’m afraid to go in. How much will be ruined?” She closed her eyes and my gut clenched as a tear squeezed out and slipped down her pale cheek.
“Aww, babe.”
Another tear rolled. “This was supposed to be my safe place. Even with all the crap I went through with Pat, this was still my place, you know?”
“A little fire damage doesn’t change that. Especially with this beast of a brick building. It’s not one of those prefab homes, Teag. It’s built Brooklyn strong, just like you.”
She lifted a hand to my cheek. “I’m supposed to be mad at you.”
I covered it, rubbing my thumb along hers then moved in. “You can be mad at me later.”
I watched those cinnamon lashes flutter down just before she melted into me. She tasted of every dream I’d ever had. I sipped from her lightly. The urge to crush her close was overwhelming, but she needed softness from me right now.
I didn’t think I had softness inside me anymore, but for her, it always multiplied under the foundation of friendship and that deeper emotion I had never wanted to name. Never had imagined I’d get to know with this woman.
I tipped her head up and couldn’t help myself from seeking out just a little more.
I always wanted more.
