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“Do you?”
“Yeah.” She pressed her fingertips against her kiss- swollen lips. Catching herself, she let out a halfhearted laugh. “I’m not sure what I’m doing. Am I supposed to just enjoy how this feels right now? Am I supposed to exploit the hell out of your very attractive body,” she ran a hand down his muscled biceps, “while pretending that’s all I feel?”
“I want you to be honest.”
Only because she’d already become so in tune to the nuances of his reactions did she hear the little give in his voice she recognized as nerves. “Nicky, I live in Roanoke.”
“I know.”
“Long- distance things usually don’t work too well. I tried one with Ramon and look how that turned out.”
“We aren’t you and Ramon. And we’ve been building toward
this ever since the first time I saw you punch out that kid who tried to steal cookies off your lunch tray.” She laughed and covered her face with her hands. Soon the laughter turned to tears and she didn’t know where they’d come from or how to make them stop.
He gathered her in his arms and held her, supporting her until she could breathe without making completely inelegant snuffling sounds. She rubbed her cheek against his chest. “Your shirt’s all wet.”
“It’s worth it that I got to be the one who comforted you while you cried.” Alana closed her eyes. At least they were dry now. “I’m sorry I was such a bitch in high school.”
“It’s okay.”
His quiet understanding almost made her start to cry again. “No, it’s not. I liked you or I could’ve gotten to like you if I’d let myself. Kelly told me to give you a chance, but I couldn’t get past who you were.”
“And who I wasn’t.”
“Yeah.”
“I thought I’d moved past all that. It was eight years ago. But tonight when I saw your ex with his hand on your breast,” his gaze dropped to her cleavage and her nipples tightened, “I couldn’t help remembering James.”
“And you wondered if I was using you to make Ramon jealous like I did back then.”
He shrugged.
“No.” She gripped his chin until he looked at her. “Ramon was drunk. I don’t want to make him jealous. I don’t want him, period.”
“What do you want, Mac?”
It would be so easy just to admit everything whirling around inside her head. And her heart. But that wouldn’t be fair to either of them, not when she had a home to return to a long way away from here. “I care about you.”
“Care.” He smiled, but his posture stiffened. “That’s nice.”
“A lot. I know it’s quick but you matter to me. A great deal.” She kept talking to try to alleviate the frustration she felt pouring from him. “If I lived here—”
“What?” He grabbed her elbows then loosened his grip until his fingers barely encircled her arms. “What would be different then?”
“We could try seeing each other. See what happens.”
“We know what’s going to happen. It’s happening already.” He let her go, then threaded his fingers through her unruly curls. “I talked to the assistant Lifestyle editor at the Trib today.”
Fear and excitement trickled through her. “Why?”
“I showed him your website and some of the shots you took for The Edge. He’s interested to see what else you can do. He wants to see your portfolio.”
“If I want a new job, I can find one myself. I don’t need you pulling strings.”
“I didn’t say anything except I’d known you years ago and we reconnected. Your work said the rest. What does it hurt to contact him?”
“It doesn’t.” Excitement started to win out over fear, at least until reality sank in again. She had a lease. She couldn’t just move, even if the job worked out. Besides, she’d vowed never to chase after another man and here she was, lacing up her running shoes. “I don’t know.”
