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West patted her shoulders and waited for the shutter sound and leaned back. “Congrats on your new kitten.”
His belly was a mess and he had to stand.
“West?”
He forced a smile and tangled his fingers with Lo. “I just need a second.”
She frowned and set the kitten into the volunteers hands. “Thanks,” she murmured. She climbed out of the pen after him. He could hear her right behind him as he hustled down to the little picnic area.
Most of the time he was pretty good around kids, but every once in a while one reminded him of Chloe. A little piece of what could have been always slapped at him out of the blue.
Kelly looked so much like Stephanie, his high school girlfriend and the daughter they’d made. Chloe, his daughter he’d never actually met.
“West?”
His smile was a little less forced this time. Worry flooded Lo’s huge gray eyes. He pressed his forehead to hers. “Everything’s fine.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“We all come with baggage, right?”
“And I shared some with you.”
He linked their fingers together. “I’m not sure I could take the look in your eyes if I tell you about it.”
“I don’t know everything about you yet, but I do know you’re a good person. It can’t be that bad.”
There were far too many people around. The sun was blasting and the water lapped gently at the cement walking path. It was one of those perfect days in San Francisco. He’d been counting on it, and now he was freaking the fuck out because of an old memory.
Just awesome.
He wished he had that kind of faith shining in Lo’s eyes. And while he didn’t exactly hide Chloe, he didn’t want the press to run with it either. She had a good life with her mother. His crazy life didn’t touch her, just as Steph had requested.
You bounce from couch to couch and crash with friends, West. That was great when we were dating. I have to think about the baby now. My parents want to help me, but only if I do it alone.
He could still hear Steph’s voice in his head.
The censure never quite went away.
Nor did her parents’ disapproval. They’d always disliked him, but after they’d gotten pregnant… Yeah, there was a whole different kind of hate there. Not only did he defile their little girl, but he got her pregnant with his less than ideal sperm.
Stephanie Clark was meant for bigger and better things.
He shook his head to push away those old memories. “Why don’t we go down on the beach for a little while?”
Lauren wrapped her other hand around their joined hands and squeezed. “Of course.”
She was quiet as they followed the massive walking path along the water. The ocean always quieted his hectic mind. Before music had taken over his brain, he’d used surfing and skateboarding to drown out the shitty voices that followed him around. He’d relied on the kindness of friends to stay out of his house as much as possible as a kid, and when a couch hadn’t been available, the beach had always saved him.
As active as Lauren’s mind was—and it was always going a million miles a minute—she was really good at taking cues as well. He hauled her in close to his chest and draped his arm around her shoulders. She melted into him. The instant trust eased a few of the threads that had knotted across his shoulder blades.
When they got to the end of the walk and sand shifted under their feet, he finally breathed enough salt and ocean tinged air that his brain stopped racing with every shitty thought about his life.
It was a good life.
He knew it—mostly. Until he looked at this woman and pieces of him wondered if he’d ever be good enough for her. Their time was ticking away and he knew she’d leave. That big brain of hers needed buckets of information on a constant basis.
After a while she’d grow tired of him.
