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“No.” A grim smile curved her mouth. “I don’t mess around with birth control, and if I commit to doing something, I do it. No matter what. Skipping school occasionally didn’t mean I didn’t care about my grades. Trying cigarettes and maybe even something a little stronger,” she coughed delicately, “at a party was just about having fun.”
“Until Roz died.” When she nodded and drained her coffee, he passed his across the table. “Here. More your speed than mine.”
“Don’t like coffee?”
“Don’t like girly coffee,” he corrected, enjoying her eye roll and quick smile. Alexa not smiling seemed like a world injustice somehow. Seeing her amused, even only for a moment, went miles toward restoring his own balance.
“If you insist.” She took a long sip, her eyes meeting his over the top of the cup. “Though with all this caffeine, I’ll be up all night.”
He toyed with the wire around one of the Chinese food cartons while he worked on maintaining his casual slouch. Even if every nerve ending in his body perked up at the possibilities. “Ms. Conroy, are you propositioning me?”
“If I was?”
“I’d say hell yes and get naked.”
Her husky laughter made him grin. “Everything seems so much easier when you’re around. I don’t know why. It’s like I can think again. The weight of my life doesn’t strangle me when you’re sitting across my dinky table.”
“I’m glad.” He gripped her free hand, running his thumb up and down between her knuckles. “What’s strangling you, Alexa?”
She didn’t answer at first. Her lashes swept down to block her eyes then she glanced up and looked at him directly. “I think I’m going to lose Roz’s business.” She let out a broken laugh. “Actually, no. Not lose it. I think I’m killing it, one exotic flower at a time. I can’t make it grow. Bills are piling up, and every day it just seems more futile. No one wants what I’m selling.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. You do incredible work, and you have a beautiful store.”
“You really think so?”
Finally, some hope. He clung to that thin reed in her tone and nodded fiercely, determined to help her rekindle that inner fire he’d seen only a few days ago. Where had it gone? Buried under overdue bills, most likely. “Yes. I know so. Your flower quality is incredible and you have designs in your store I haven’t seen anywhere else.”
“No one cares about that. All they want is cheap. Ask Value Hardware.”
The name nearly jolted him. He slid his fingers down to clasp her wrist, noting the rapid beat of her pulse. “What are you doing to drum up business?”
In a halting voice, she told him about ad campaigns and flyers and special sales. About ideas she’d had for classes, and the new website she was having built. Throughout, she held herself in a stiff position, as if she didn’t really believe what she was saying. As if the business was already dead.
“Don’t give up.” He tightened his hold on her wrist when she didn’t look at him. “Do you hear me, Alexa? You’re doing this to honor your friend, your second mom. You haven’t come this far just to turn around and tuck your tail between your legs now. Just hang on a little longer.”
“For what? What exactly am I waiting for, Dillon?”
“For your faith to pay off.” He rubbed his thumb in absent circles over her palm. “You’re all you’ve got, and you need to fucking fight for all you’re worth.”
“And if I fail, it’ll hurt just that much more.”
“You’ll only fail if you stop. If you can’t trust yourself anymore, trust me when I say I know you’re going to be fine. You’re not going to lose your business.”
She swallowed hard. “What are you afraid to lose?”
A handful of glib answers sprung to mind, but he remained silent. If he couldn’t tell her who he truly was, at least he could cut the BS and give her something real.
“Myself,” he said softly. “I may not be the best guy in the world. God knows I have my flaws. I was always so damn stubborn about doing everything on my own. But sometimes, you really figure out who you are as part of a team.” He looked up and found her studying him. “Sometimes you gotta commit to seeing something through, shoulder-to-shoulder with the people you care about.”
As the words left him, he realized how true they were. Not just about him and his family, but about Alexa as well. He wanted so badly to help her. To make her store work, and in turn, show Cory that not everything could be resolved on a profit-and-loss ledger. There were people involved. It wasn’t all just about making money, but making connections.
Except he’d lied and pretended to be someone else to the one person he felt he could really be himself with—if he didn’t happen to share a bloodline with Cory Santangelo.
If he told her the truth now, he’d risk driving her into the hole he sensed she was on the edge of falling into. What good would it do to make her question herself more when she realized she’d been had—and by the handyman, no less? Not that he’d ever meant to deceive her for malicious reasons, but she wouldn’t believe that. She’d see his sudden arrival in her life as one more shiny nail into the coffin of Roz’s legacy.
He couldn’t do it to her. Or himself.
The only thing he could do was fully commit to the path he’d set. As angry as he was at Cory for causing her more pain with his damn notices, he knew kicking his brother’s ass wasn’t the way to handle this. She needed to get the store back on her feet herself if her self-esteem was going to survive the blows of the past few months.
