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The fussy speech didn’t suit the free-spirited mother he remembered, but the teasing glint in her smile did. He offered a weak smile in return. “I should’ve brought some. Next time,” he echoed faintly.
He hadn’t been certain he could follow through with the visits, but now, after this, he knew he had to. His mother was still inside there somewhere, and he’d be damned if he didn’t try to get her back.
His visit lasted almost an hour. They started out slow, talking about the framed puzzles on the wall. More flowers and farm scenes and cityscapes covered the faded wallpaper. She seemed to have a story to go with each one. Eventually, he shifted to talking about the past. In time, she seemed to recall him and some of their family memories. Bits and pieces, fragments he tried to coax into full pictures. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember,” she said more times than he could count.
Until he found the right key, the memory of his first high school dance. He said the words “Dad’s tux,” and she laughed, recognition firing in her eyes as brightly as sparklers on the Fourth of July.
“You were too big for it, even then,” she said. “We were trying to save money, and when you came down the stairs with the hems of the pants around your calves, your dad hollered with pride.” She giggled, sounding so much like Vic that his chest tightened. “He was always so proud of you.”
He cleared his throat and fought to keep his matching smile in place. “Not too proud to take a dozen pictures of me looking like an ass,” he said.
“Parent’s privilege,” she said lightly.
By the time he left, he felt both better and worse. He’d committed to seeing more of her, and they’d even shared a laugh or two. He just hadn’t known it would be like that. The nurses said she’d been having a rough time lately, and they’d had to change her medication. In time, she’d be back to her new normal.
Meanwhile, she was locked in a room with bars on the window for her own safety, in a darkness she’d never chosen and probably would never truly escape.
And all he could think about was the wasted time. She wasn’t the evil, heartless woman he’d imagined. The woman he’d built up in his mind as a reason not to trust, to stay closed off to people who claimed to care, simply no longer existed—if she ever had.
On the way out of the group home, his phone buzzed, and he debated letting it go to voicemail. He hadn’t expected how draining it would be to be confronted with his past. Underneath the confusion and reticence, he’d sensed an emotion he never expected from his mother after all these years, and it had knocked him on his ass.
Love. Somewhere down deep, buried beneath her memories, she loved him. And he still loved her, too.
Seeing Cade’s name on the Caller ID, he took a deep breath and leaned against his truck as he engaged the call. “Hey man. Twice in one week is a record for you.”
“Yeah.” Cade’s laughter was more subdued than it had been the last time they’d talked. “Look, I know you’re spending time with your family, so I’ll keep this brief.”
Family was still such a novel concept to him, but Cade was right. He was spending time with his family. Facing his flaws in their eyes as he realized that what he’d hated in them maybe lurked inside himself, too. He just had to hope that even if he had the same flaws, he wouldn’t make the same mistakes.
His mother had left first chance she got. So had he. Different circumstances, yes. Both had hurt the people left behind, like his sister. Now he would be leaving again, and there was Jill. Every moment he spent with her would making that ultimate breaking away more difficult.
Had he made the right decision making this five dates? He’d done it to spare her pain, but what if this only ended up causing the opposite?
“Go ahead,” Bryan said. “What’s up?”
“I found out more about that rumor I told you about. I screwed up. It would’ve been better if I waited.”
Bryan’s already throbbing temples pounded with renewed vigor. Jesus, what now? “Go on.”
“You’ll hear it soon enough, but I thought it would be better if I told you rather than someone else. Like Bannion.”
“Bannion doesn’t tell me much of anything these days.” As true as the words were about their team coach, saying them still stung. Once upon a time, he and Bannion had been tight. Or so he’d thought.
“That big deal people were talking about? Word on the street is he’s bringing on Riley Yorn.”
Bryan clenched his keys. “Yorn’s a quarterback. We have three already. Bannion never utilizes a three-man rotation—” His voice died as the full meaning of what his buddy had said sank in.
Bannion already has two quarterbacks, not counting you. He’s never had four on the roster. Do the math.
But why hadn’t his agent told him about the possible Yorn situation? Either that meant it was an actual problem and his agent was trying to find a way to soften the blow or else it was smoke.
He wasn’t sure he wanted to know which.
“You know how shit is this time of year,” Cade went on. “Everyone talks out of their ass. I just wanted you to know in case I’d totally gotten it wrong before.”
“In case. Yeah.” Bryan cleared his throat. “I appreciate it, man, thanks. Later.”
He clicked off before he gave in to the curses hovering on the tip of his tongue. Not at Cade for being the bearer of the truth, at himself for taking something for granted he didn’t know how he’d get by without.
