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Chapter Ten
Two hours later, Bryan stood in Jill’s darkened apartment. He’d driven around until he couldn’t take his thoughts any longer. But she still wasn’t home, and the silence of her place was getting to him enough that he’d ventured into her bedroom.
He stared down at the outfit she’d laid out neatly on her bed. Other women might occasionally lay out a dress for a party. Leave it to Jill to lay out her kink gear.
Well, moderate kink. They weren’t doing anything too hardcore. Just fun play. He couldn’t indulge in the full range of kink he really enjoyed, not without inviting the kind of intimacy they needed to avoid. He hadn’t even really spanked her ass yet. He definitely hadn’t fisted her hair hard enough to make tears well up in her eyes as he nudged her to the floor. She was a little bit dirty, but he’d known the rules all along. Bruises of any sort during sex were out, even moderate thumb smudges on her wrists. Good girls weren’t to be tainted by the likes of him.
His sister got that despite not knowing about his proclivities toward the rougher end of things. Maybe he gave off a vibe.
Sweet girls, beware. I’ll steal your innocence and eat it like candy.
Jill didn’t appear put off, though. Not even after a glimpse into his dark desires. One part of him warmed to her lack of consideration toward anything Vic had said. She truly hadn’t seemed to care. The other part of him knew she was playing with fire, and he’d be damned if he was the one who gave her the burn.
He fingered the short plaid skirt with its knife-kick pleats. Imagining her in it got him hard, so hard he had to grip the base of his shaft to try to get himself back in line. His gaze traveled up to the white tied blouse, perfect for knotting over a midriff. She’d pulled out her white lace-topped stockings again and a pair of heeled shoes with wide buckles. Her skirt had a belt, too, with another buckle.
Fuck, he shouldn’t picture that buckle imprinting the smooth flesh of her ass. If he let himself spank her beyond the occasional love tap, there’d be no turning back. Either she’d say no, and he’d be crushed…or she’d say yes, and then he’d really be in trouble. But Lord, he could barely keep himself in check as it was. He ached to bring the buckle across her skin in a way that left a momentary sting that turned into warmth he would exploit with his fingers in her pussy until she was writhing and begging.
No. He couldn’t go there.
But maybe he should. After everything they’d been through—if this was going to end—she deserved to see his true self at least once.
He gripped the skirt in both hands and shut his eyes. It was probably the kindest thing he could do for her in the long run. If she rejected him, all the better.
As much as he hated the idea of causing her even a moment’s uncertainty, she’d thank him once she’d moved on to her appropriate family with two-point-five kids and a cat. Those kids wouldn’t have a mentally-ill grandmother, no grandfather who disappeared as soon as the gambling tables tempted him.
And Dad? Well, Dad wouldn’t be playing for guts and glory and tabloid spreads. He’d work some regular job, maybe as a teacher or an accountant. Perhaps even help build homes for charity. He might not drive a flashy truck or have a massive portfolio, but he’d be reliable.
Bryan’s gut knotted. With a guy like Dr. Pete, she would never want for a damn thing. And she would definitely never find herself tied up at night, wearing a blindfold with a few colorful stripes marring her pale ass.
The apartment door opened a few moments later, and she called out tentatively. “Bry?”
“In here,” he answered, sitting on the edge of her bed.
She appeared in the doorway and offered him a quizzical smile he could see in the moonlight. “What’re you doing sitting in the dark?”
His first thought was for the tiny helpless kitten, Ernie. He wondered how she was. But he didn’t want to fool Jill into thinking he was a different sort of man than he was. So he didn’t ask.
She crossed the threshold. “We think Ernie will be okay. Pete suctioned her airways and gave her oxygen, then started an intravenous drip and got her on antibiotics. She’s young and frail, but luckily Pete recognized the signs and got her the treatment she needs.”
“Thank God for that.” He cleared his throat. “I’m glad to hear it.”
“Yeah, Pete really moved quickly. He’s a blessing to the cen—” She broke off, probably noticing the inhalation he couldn’t hide. “Bry?”
Pete was a blessing to her and those kittens. No doubt about it. Him, on the other hand? Not so much. He hadn’t even wanted to hold them at first.
“Are you okay? I promise you,” she said. “Vic didn’t mean what she said. She was just on the edge and overemotional. I think she’s freaking a bit about the wedding, too.”
“Right.” He could beat around the bush, or he could make this happen as fast as possible. It was better fo
r both of them if he finished this quickly. “You want to know what I was thinking about before you got here?”
“What?”
“Fucking you so hard your knees give out.”
“Oh.” She exhaled. “Well then. That’s nice.”
“It’s not going to be nice, baby.” He rose and set aside her skirt. He stalked over to her and thumbed up her chin until her eyes were riveted to his. “I’m going to take you further tonight.” He rubbed his finger over her mouth, smearing her sticky lip gloss.
