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Silently, he pulled on his pants. Walking away from this woman and what they’d found together in this room would be one of the hardest things he’d ever done. If he didn’t go now, he wouldn’t be able to.
“The wedding was supposed to be our fifth date.” She stared somewhere over his shoulder, not meeting his eyes.
He shrugged on his shirt and forced himself to do up the buttons. “We already had more than five if we count all the time we spent together.”
“No, we didn’t. You don’t get to make the rules. It takes both of us.”
“Yeah, but I can’t be counted on to play fair, remember?” His mouth quirked as he shoved his feet into his shoes and snatched his phone. “Look, Jill, let’s just be real. If my own sister thinks I’m not a decent enough guy to treat you the way you deserve, you have to take that seriously. Maybe you think you can goad me into showing Vic she’s wrong by sticking around for our date, but it’s just delaying the inevitable. I’m no good for you.”
Her cheeks reddened as she punched her pillow behind her back. “Says who? Vic?”
“Vic’s only pointing out the obvious. I don’t have the best track record when it comes to choosing others over myself.” He hissed out a breath. “And you should have nothing less.”
“But it’s not that sim—”
“What would your mother think of you settling for me?”
Her hesitation said more than words ever could. His concerns about leaving her faded under the certainty that he had no other option. This wasn’t about what was better for him or what he wished like hell he could keep in his life. Her.
This was about what was best for Jill, now and in the future, when the brief high of their relationship had faded into bitterness over who he would never be.
“Consider this agreement ended,” he said. “One more thing I couldn’t hold up my end of the bargain on.” Without giving her a chance to weaken his resolve, he did what everyone expected. He walked out the door.
Once he reached the hallway outside her apartment, he stopped trying not to limp.
…
Against all odds, she somehow slept. Not even dreams kept her company in the night. And when she woke, she knew he hadn’t returned.
She wouldn’t sit up and find him in her bathroom, looking deliciously sexy in his towel and smelling of her soap. She pressed her face into the pillow, searching for his citrus-and-sandalwood scent. That no longer remained, either.
Her eyes grew damp, but she refused to open them and let the tears escape. She’d had her chance to reach him, and she’d failed. Sex was how he preferred to communicate, and she’d tried to prove to him that she wasn’t some sweet kid who couldn’t handle his needs.
Hell, who was to say he could handle all of hers? She hadn’t begun to get a grip on them yet. For all she knew, she’d develop a host of wild fetishes and end up shoving him past his comfort zone. If he ever came back.
It had been even worse when she’d tried to convince him to stay without pouring out her feelings. Perhaps she should have. But God, she’d been so frightened he would reject her outright if she told him she loved him that she’d fallen back on that hardline comment about him owing her a date.
He didn’t owe her anything, except another chance for her to get loving him right.
She had to keep it together. After the night they’d spent together, there was no way he could leave her permanently. He had team business to attend to, and yes, the Vic thing had been a speed bump, but everyone knew Vic tended to speak without thinking and could challenge a mama bear for the title of Most Overprotective. She adored her brother.
She’d adore him even more when she learned all the sweet things he’d been doing lately. Interceding on their father’s behalf to bring him to the wedding, trying with their mom, even spending time with Dillon at the Helping Hands houses, according to what he’d told her the other morning. And how he’d been with the kittens.
Why he hid all of the good sides of his nature, Jill didn’t know. It was as if he didn’t want people to
expect him to be a decent guy in case he couldn’t live up to it.
But he was, in so many ways.
Swallowing hard, she grabbed her phone and called the cat rescue center. Once she ascertained Ernie was stable and doing as well as could be expected, she sent Bryan a quick text. It took everything she possessed to stay casual.
Maybe we can do a rewrite on last night’s convo? Let me know. XO
As soon as she sent it, she regretted the XO. Too clingy? Too nonchalant? Cripes, how was she supposed to know how to react in this situation? Her limited range of life experiences didn’t extend to this. She’d never had an actual boyfriend that lasted more than a month, and that had been a while ago. God knew she had no experience with lovers. And Bryan didn’t fit neatly into any of those categories.
She shivered and bit her lip at the renewed sting in her bottom. Last night had been beyond words. She’d never felt closer to anyone than she had to him. But he’d just…left.
She stared at her phone, willing it to ring. When it became clear it wouldn’t, she called Vic.
