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“Teaching?”
“Talk to my daughter, because this is more her field than mine, but I could imagine that there would be a big demand for small groups of people to come and stay for a few days of cookery.”
“A cookery week?”
“Maybe not a week. Short breaks. They can cook what they’re going to eat while they’re here. So basically you’d have help in the kitchen. Or maybe you offer that as an extra when they’re here for their house party. Cook with Mary.”
Mary laughed. “I’m starting to understand how you’ve done so well in life.”
“I don’t think I’ve done well at the things that matter.”
“You’re focusing only on what you didn’t give the girls, instead of looking at what you did give them.”
“Maybe.” It was humbling how badly she needed to hear someone tell her that she hadn’t made a complete mess of things. Inside she felt doubtful, crumpled and insecure.
And maybe Mary realized that.
“Here’s something else to think about.” She offered another slice of shortbread. “It’s never too late to build a snowman, Gayle. It’s never too late to dance, or laugh, bake cookies or date a man. It’s never too late.”
Samantha
“I have no idea where she’s gone. She’s probably taken a taxi to the airport,” Ella said, “because I refused to let her make choices for me. I’ve probably upset her.”
Samantha clasped her hands behind her back to hide the fact they were shaking. She was so angry with her mother. Gayle was the one who had insisted on spending Christmas with them. Why do that, if she didn’t want to make it a happy time for her granddaughter? How could she intentionally upset little Tab? The shaking grew worse. She kept her focus on her sister. “I’m proud of you. It’s the first time you’ve drawn a line and forced her to accept your choice.”
“Yes.” Ella stood a little straighter. “And it feels good in principle, but also bad, if that makes sense.”
Samantha managed a nod. “Of course. You don’t change who you are overnight. It’s a process.”
“I still can’t believe she actually said that, can you?”
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sp; “I—yes, I suppose I can.” Her lips were dry. Her mouth was dry. Tab’s crestfallen expression was stuck in her head, and suddenly she was reliving all those childhood Christmases where her mother had ripped away the cloak of mystery that surrounded Santa. It had been a tug-of-war between her and Samantha, who had desperately wanted her sister to experience the same magic as her friends. And doing that for her sister had made it magical for her, too. But it had come at a cost, and she’d been the one to pay that price. She’d been the buffer between her mother’s beliefs and her sister’s joy.
Ella was oblivious. “Brodie saved the day—that man’s a god, by the way. How did he come up with that mathematical model? I almost believed him!”
“Math is his thing. He’s supersmart.”
“And supersexy, but we’ll talk about that another time.” Ella rubbed her forehead, tired. “I was starting to think the holidays might be okay after all, but now I’m not convinced. Do you think Christmas is ruined?”
“No. We’re not going to let it be ruined.” She spoke automatically, reassuring her sister the way she always did. “We’re going to make this work. Tab is going to have a wonderful Christmas.”
Maybe, since her sister had finally been honest with their mother, she should do the same.
She and her mother hadn’t discussed that last gathering. They hadn’t dealt with the past; they’d left it behind. Bitter words, and then nothing. Samantha had chosen to ignore it, which is what she so often did of course. Outer Samantha ignored inner Samantha.
But no more.
“I’m going to find her. It’s time I talked to her about a whole lot of things, including what happened five years ago.” Samantha headed for the stairs. “I’ll check her room.”
“I’ll come with you. And don’t try and talk me out of it.” Ella was only a few steps behind her. “I know I’m the one who caused the rift between us in the first place.”
“I was the one who—”
“Said the words. I know, but you were defending me. You were protecting me, the way you always have. You’re incredible, but I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I can’t change the past, but I can make sure it doesn’t happen again. We’ll talk to her together. We’ll have an adult discussion, and if we can’t agree on a way forward that works for everyone, then we’ll need to rethink the rest of this holiday break.” Ella seemed strong and confident, which was more than Samantha did.
She felt raw and vulnerable. Right at that moment she would have given anything just to escape outdoors and hug a reindeer. Or Brodie.
