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“I don’t, but I didn’t want to take my wedding ring off. It would feel unlucky.”
“Ella, this is impossible! Do you know how hard it was to have a conversation, knowing that I couldn’t talk about your marriage, your child or your job?”
“I’m sorry to put you in that position.”
“It’s unreal. But none of it is as unreal as the thought of spending Christmas with our mother.” Samantha unzipped her overnight bag violently. “Can you believe she would even suggest it? After everything that has happened between us? And then there’s the fact that she hates Christmas. She must have brain damage. It’s the only explanation.”
“Don’t say that.” Ella’s forehead had been locked in frown lines since they’d left the hospital. “They’re only keeping her in because she was unconscious for such a long time and they’re concerned about the bruising on her ribs. And can you keep your voice down? Everyone in this hotel is going to hear you.”
“I don’t get it. She hates the holidays, works right the way through and always has. She thinks gifts are a waste of time, the whole thing is a commercial racket and the ‘family togetherness’ thing is designed to give everyone feelings of insecurity and resentment. She doesn’t decorate, we never even had a tree—” Samantha forced herself to breathe and calm down. She needed a plan, not a panic attack.
She and Ella adored the holidays. It was their favorite time of year. In fact it had been their love for Christmas that had given Samantha the idea for her business. She’d realized that out there somewhere there had to be people just like them. People who looked forward to the festive season and wanted an extra special magical Christmas. People who would appreciate the Christmas markets of Europe, a cozy chalet in the Swiss Alps, or a visit to Lapland to see Santa and the elves.
She fell backward onto the bed with a groan. “Kill me now.”
“No way, because then I’d have to go through this alone, and that’s not happening.” Ella flopped next to her and they lay, arms touching, bonded by blood and shared experiences as they stared up at the ceiling. “You should have checked in under a fake name. We could have stayed here forever and no one would have been able to find us.”
“I think Michael and Tab would have something to say about that.”
Ella moaned and covered her face with her hands. “Michael is going to have a lot to say about a lot of things. How do I tell him?”
“If I knew that much about how to sustain a relationship I’d be in one.”
“It was just an unfortunate sequence of events. It was after one of Mom’s sessions that we met. I was crying on the train station—”
“—and he came and sat with you. I know. It’s adorable. And annoying that you can meet The One on a crowded train platform when the rest of us just get bruised ribs.”
“He thought the wedding would be the perfect time to heal things, but I couldn’t invite her. I just couldn’t. He doesn’t know our mother the way we do.”
“He doesn’t know her at all. But you’re going to fix that. You have to be honest. What’s the alternative? You’re going to rent a house and run between your family and our mother? Pretend you’re going to work?”
“Thanks for reminding me what a total mess I’m in. What am I going to do?”
“What are we going to do? I’m part of this ‘family Christmas.’” Samantha stood up. “First we order pizza, then we take a shower, and after that we raid the mini bar.” She grabbed her phone and ordered pizza to be delivered.
“I’m not sure I can eat.”
“This is the best pizza in New York City. You won’t be able to stop yourself. And I cannot strategize on an empty stomach.”
“There’s something about our mother that makes me too nervous to eat. My stomach is already bloated with panic. But I have to get over that. Maybe it will be okay. She apologized. She actually apologized.”
“She did not.”
“She did,” Ella said. “She used those words. She said, ‘I apologize.’”
Samantha pulled out her laptop and put it on the desk next to the TV. “She didn’t apologize for what she said. She apologized for upsetting you.”
“Same thing.”
“It’s not the same thing.”
“But she was reaching out. Trying to make amends, even if it was in a ‘mom’ way.” Ella sat up, too. “What did you talk about before I arrived?”
“I don’t know.” The whole thing was a blur. She’d seen her mother lying there and felt so many things she hadn’t been able to untangle the emotions. “Nothing. Small talk. Awkward silences. It was pretty hideous.”
“I guess it’s bound to be awkward after what happened, and after so much time.” Ella sat cross-legged on the bed. “What are we going to do? I’ve been looking forward to Christmas for ages. I have so many plans. It’s going to be magical.” She slumped. “It was going to be magical.”
Samantha saw disappointment and desperation and knew she had to do something. “We deal with this one problem at a time. First, we kill her plan. There is no way she is spending Christmas with us. You’re not the only one who is looking forward to it.”
