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“Mmm. Is he good to you?”
“To me? Of course. Why would you ask that?”
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my daughter. Your welfare doesn’t stop being important to me, even though you’re an adult and married.”
“I should have told you about Tab. And Michael.”
“I wish you had, but I understand why you didn’t.” Gayle turned up the collar of her coat. “I don’t blame you.”
“You...don’t?”
“No. I handled our last meeting badly. I hurt you, and I’m sorry for it. All I’ve ever wanted was to protect you and your sister. I don’t expect you to understand that.”
“Then help us understand it.” Ella stopped walking. They were five minutes from the house and she didn’t want a conversation this important to be interrupted. “What were you protecting us from, exactly? Is it because of Dad? I don’t understand how it feels to lose the person you love so young, but I do understand how it feels to want to protect your child.” Maybe that was common ground. A good place to start.
Gayle glanced back toward Tab and Michael. “You must have been pregnant that last time we met.”
“Yes.” Was her mother going to simply ignore her question?
“It explains why you were so emotional, and why Samantha was so protective.”
Exasperation licked at the edges of her patience. “I was emotional because—” You upset me. Keep it neutral. No accusations. “The conversation upset me.”
“I was concerned about you. You didn’t seem able to settle at anything. Before you trained as a teacher, you had four different jobs in two years.”
“But those jobs helped me figure out what I wanted. And what I wanted to be was a teacher. I know I disappointed you. You wanted me to be a doctor, or a lawyer.”
“I wanted you to be secure and financially independent. And you didn’t disappoint me. You scared me.”
“Scared you?” They stood there, shoulder to shoulder, and yet the distance between them felt huge.
“You’re a mother.” Gayle turned to look at her. “You must understand how it feels to be afraid for your child. You want to protect them from the world, but deep down you know you can’t protect them and the next best thing is to make s
ure you equip them to fight whatever life sends through the door. I tried to give you those tools. I made sure you could swim. I taught you to read, so that by the time you started school you were already an independent reader. I took you to martial arts classes so that you could handle yourself with confidence.”
Ella thought of the number of times she’d begged to learn ballet. “I wanted to dance.”
“I couldn’t afford ballet and martial arts. I chose the one I thought might be most useful. No one ever danced their way out of trouble.” Her mother stirred. “I wasn’t afraid of you being a teacher. I was afraid of you giving it up and moving on to the next thing. Sampling, and not sticking. I needed you to stick. I wanted you to be able to always support yourself.”
“I was trying to find a job that made me happy.”
“Happiness doesn’t pay the bills.”
“Life has to be about more than paying the bills, but I understand that being widowed so young must have been frightening.”
“It was. I relied on your father financially. That was a mistake.”
“You never talk about him.”
“Excuse me?”
“Dad. You never talk about him. You never talk about your marriage. Until last night Sam and I had no idea that you’d come here on your honeymoon.”
“Why would you?”
Did she really need to spell it out? “I would have thought that might be something you might have mentioned before.” Ella put her hand on her mother’s arm. “Is being here difficult for you?”
“Difficult?”
