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‘Not here.’ He glanced at their audience. ‘I think you’ve had enough of a show for one night.’ And then he closed his hand over hers and led her from the pub and out into the darkness.
‘Where are we going?’ Flora hurried to keep up with him but he didn’t answer and eventually they reached the quay where her boat was moored. ‘You want to go sailing in the dark?’
‘No, but I want to sit and look at her for a minute. Boats always calm me.’ He sat down on the edge of the quay and tugged at her hand. ‘Sit down.’
She sat, her heart pumping, the surface of the quay rough beneath her legs. ‘Are you angry?’
‘How could I possibly be angry?’ He gave a short laugh, his eyes on the boats. ‘I’m not angry. But I can’t accept what you’re offering, Flora.’
‘I love you, Conner. Nothing you do or say is going to change that fact.’
‘You don’t really want an affair. It isn’t who you are.’
‘I want you. And if an affair is what’s on offer then that’s what I’ll take.’ She hesitated and then put her hand on his thigh and left it there. ‘There’s no pressure on you, Conner. I know you were more th
an a little spooked by seeing Logan and Evanna. I know that family life isn’t what you want—’
‘You’re wrong.’ His voice was hoarse and he covered her hand with his and then gripped it tightly. ‘I was spooked, that’s true, but I was spooked because in my mind I kept seeing you sitting there, holding a baby. And I wanted that baby to be mine.’
His words were so unexpected that for a moment she assumed she must have imagined them. She stared blankly at the boat, afraid to breathe, move or do anything that might disturb the atmosphere. Afraid to look at him.
Then, finally, she dared to turn her head. ‘What did you say?’
‘You heard me.’
Stunned, Flora could do nothing but stare. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Neither do I. I’ve spent my entire life running from relationships. I’ve never given anyone the opportunity to hurt me. But you crept up on me, Flora Harris.’ He gave a lopsided smile. ‘Somehow you sneaked in under my radar. With you, I didn’t feel angry any more. You’re the only person I’ve ever met whose company I prefer to my own.’
She could hardly breathe. ‘But if you felt like that, why didn’t you tell me? Why did you end our relationship? Why did you walk away?’
‘Because I’m not a good catch.’ He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. ‘As far as commitment goes, my track record is appallingly bad. What woman in her right mind would take a chance on me?’
‘I would,’ Flora said softly. ‘I would, if you asked me to.’
He was silent for a moment and when he spoke his voice was husky. ‘You would? You’re not worried about my past?’
‘I’m more worried about my future. I can’t imagine what it will be like if you’re not part of it.’
‘Knowing who I am doesn’t make a difference?’
‘I love who you are,’ she said simply. ‘You’re a man who has done tremendous things with his life, despite the most appalling start. Most people would have crumpled. Most people would have repeated the pattern they’d seen at home or allowed the past to dictate their present. You did neither of those things. You trained as a doctor. You give to others, even though you were given so little yourself.’
He was silent for a moment and then he cleared his throat and gave her a wry smile. ‘Now, this is the sort of hero-worship I think I could live with,’ he drawled softly, standing up and pulling her up after him. ‘I’m still afraid you’re going to lose your nerve any minute and change your mind.’
‘I won’t do that. I love you, Conner. What I feel for you isn’t something I can turn on and off.’
‘I make women miserable, Flora.’
‘You don’t make me miserable. These last weeks has been the happiest of my life.’
He hesitated. ‘What would you say if I told you that I don’t want to stay on Glenmore?’
She lifted a hand to his face, gently exploring the roughness of his jaw with her finger. ‘I’d say that’s fine. And I’d ask you where you want to go.’
His gaze flickered from her face to the boat. ‘I want to sail. Just the two of us. And when you’re too pregnant to move around the boat, we’ll find some dry land and make a home.’
She felt the lump building in her throat. ‘That sounds good to me.’
