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She emerged from her trance to hear Dr. Morton saying, “After that, you’re good to go.”
Grace felt her anger rise. He was good to go, but what about her?
David squirmed. “Thank you.”
“Don’t look so gloomy. People recover well from this and go on to live good lives.” The doctor outlined plans for his discharge, and then left the room with a final nod toward Grace.
“No sex for a month,” Grace said. “I guess that’s going to be tough on whoever it is you’re sleeping with.”
She saw the shock in David’s eyes and then the spreading color in his cheeks.
“You’re angry. I understand.”
“You understand? You can’t do this and still get to be the nice guy, David. This wasn’t an accident, or some random thing that happened to us that you regret. You chose this path. You knew what this would do to us. To me. But you did it anyway.”
Because he’d wanted it.
It wasn’t the first time someone hadn’t loved her enough to fight temptation.
Feelings she’d worked hard to subdue swirled to life inside her.
“I didn’t plan it, Grace. I was unhappy, and she was there and—Well, it just happened.”
It was the worst thing he could have said to her.
“What happened to self-control, David?”
He shifted in the bed. “You don’t have to tell me how important self-control is to you. I already know.”
“But I didn’t know how unimportant it was to you.”
“Grace—”
“You didn’t tell me you were unhappy. You didn’t give us a chance.” The more she thought about it, the more she realized she wasn’t just angry, she was furious. It was almost a relief. Anger was fuel, and easier to handle than grief and confusion.
“Everything you say is true, and I feel terrible.”
“I feel terrible, too. The difference is that you deserve to feel terrible, and I don’t.” She stopped. He looked so pale she was afraid he might be having another heart attack.
How could she care so much about his welfare, when he’d given no thought to hers?
It seemed that love defied logic.
“Grace—”
“Do you know what it’s like to be in love with someone, and to assume they feel the same way, and then to discover that it was all fake? It makes you question everything.” She heard the catch in her own voice. “All those memories we made together, I’m wondering how many of them were real.”
“They were real. They are real.”
“What’s real is that at some point you started feeling differently and you didn’t share that with me. I made a chicken salad with low calorie dressing.” She unloaded the bag and slapped the containers on the table next to the bed.
“You’ve had a few messages. Rick from the golf club called. He sent you his best wishes.”
“Right.”
He hadn’t even mentioned the fact that she’d resuscitated him. Not that she wanted thanks exactly, but a small amount of praise for keeping a cool head in an emergency and saving his life might have been nice.
Thanks, Grace. It was kind of you to bring me back to life after I said you were boring. Glad you didn’t exercise the option to leave me to die.
