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“I’m going to write him a note right now.” She snatched a pen from her bag and found a scrap of paper.
Sean, I’ve decided to go to Oakwood. I want to check on the house, the cat, and spend some time there. She almost scribbled, keep an eye on the girls, but then remembered she was going to stop organizing other people’s lives. Let him decide whether he needed to keep an eye on them, or not. Should she wish him Happy Anniversary? No, that would be petty, and he might think this was all about the fact he’d forgotten when it went so much deeper than that. Instead she signed off Love Liza x.
She left the note on the pillow, proud that she hadn’t given way to her inner toddler who was ready to yell, You forgot our anniversary.
Caitlin looked alarmed. “But what are we supposed to do?”
“Do about what?” Liza transferred her purse, phone and car keys to a bag that didn’t remind her of work. Did she have everything she needed? Probably not, but the most important thing was to leave before she changed her mind. Her sense of responsibility was already tapping on the edges of her conscience. Hello, remember me?
Liza ignored the tapping. Just because someone knocked on the door, didn’t mean you had to open it.
“We have lots going on this week,” Caitlin said. “Summer activities. You always drive us. What about lunches?”
“Figure it out. Think of it as another summer activity, only instead of learning tennis, or drama, you’ll be learning self-sufficiency.” Liza grabbed the books she’d been saving for France and tucked them into her bag.
“But the difference is that tennis and drama are, like, fun.”
“Life can’t always be fun. There’s a lesson right there. A good life is a balance between doing what you have to do and what you want to do. I’m sure you’re both going to rise to the challenge.” And so was she. She was going to take a close look at the balance in her own life.
“But if you’re not cooking and we can’t order pizza, what do we eat tonight?”
“That’s up to you.” For the first time she was giving them neither the menu, nor the ingredients. “Be creative.”
“We’ll probably die of malnutrition.” Caitlin, the drama queen.
“I doubt that.” Liza carried her bag to the door. Was this too extreme? Was she overreacting? By leaving them to cope alone would she simply increase her workload when she returned?
“But when will you be back?” Alice added her voice to her sister’s. “There’s always so much to do before our holiday.”
Liza paused in the doorway. “And I’m the one who does all of it. Right now, I’m not sure I have the energy.”
Ignoring Alice’s shocked expression, she headed down the stairs and opened the front door. The car sat in the drive like a friend, waiting to whisk her away. On impulse she opened the garage, pulled out a large box and loaded it into the car.
Alice and Caitlin hovered on the doorstep.
“You said you didn’t trust us after what happened last time.”
They didn’t want her to leave, but Liza knew that right
now that had less to do with affection and more to do with the fact that she was inconveniencing them.
“You think I’m controlling, and you want me to leave you alone so that’s what I’m doing. Consider this to be an advanced course in Looking After Yourself. I expect you to graduate with top marks.”
“But—” Alice looked alarmed. “You’ll be back for France, right?”
Would she?
Liza slung her bag into the car and slid into the driver’s seat, feeling liberated. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she had only herself to think about.
She turned off her phone.
“Wait!” Caitlin hammered on her window. “You didn’t answer the question about France.”
Because she didn’t have the answer. All she knew for sure was that she needed to get away. She needed to do something for herself. And so far that felt good.
Liza opened the window a crack. “Behave yourselves.”
With a quick wave to the girls, she reversed out of the drive.
