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She hated the idea of staying in one place, but then she’d fallen in love with her cottage by the ocean. It made her feel that she was on the edge of a journey. That she could sail away at a moment’s notice.
Why had she not said that? Why had she not said, Liza, I’m afraid.
Because she handled life by not letting it get too close.
In their last phone conversation Liza had said I love you, and what had she said in return? Not I love you too, even though she did love he
r daughter very much. She’d said I know you do.
It was evidence of Liza’s great love for her that she hadn’t given up on her mother.
Kathleen’s heart ached.
She should do better. She would do better.
She watched as Martha dipped her spoon into Josh’s chocolate ice cream and he tried her strawberry.
Sharing. Sharing was an essential part of fostering a good relationship. It wasn’t enough to tell Liza she loved her, she had to show her. Actions meant so much more than mere words, although of course words mattered too.
She needed to show Liza that she trusted her and valued her opinion.
And there was a good way to do that.
She needed to ask her daughter to read Ruth’s letters.
She needed to be honest about the past.
17
MARTHA
AMARILLO~SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO
Martha glanced in the mirror. They’d spent the morning touring Amarillo’s historic district, and now Kathleen was sleeping in the back of the car as they headed across the top of Texas toward New Mexico.
Since her dizzy spell, Kathleen had been more subdued. The day before they’d driven from Oklahoma City to Amarillo and Kathleen had dozed for much of the journey. Martha had asked if she was feeling quite well, and been told that she was, but she’d insisted on an early night, leaving Martha and Josh to spend another evening together.
Josh had suggested a steakhouse, but Martha hadn’t wanted to be too far from Kathleen, so they’d ordered in pizza again, played cards and watched a movie.
“Do you think she’s matchmaking?” Josh had asked at one point but Martha had shaken her head.
“I wish she was. She’s very unlike herself. Anyway, I could never be with someone who didn’t eat the crust from the pizza.” She eyed the crusts on his plate and he shrugged.
“I hate crusts. Give me gooey cheese any day. This is a tiring trip for her. Could be that.”
“Maybe.” But Martha didn’t think so.
She felt uneasy. She had a strong feeling that the reason Kathleen felt out of sorts wasn’t physical, but emotional, and it didn’t feel right to share that with Josh.
Was she thinking about Ruth? About the letters? They’d talked about it enough for Martha to know what a big deal it was.
She glanced in her mirror again and saw Kathleen’s head resting against the back of the seat. Sleeping?
Martha turned her attention back to the road.
To stop herself worrying about Kathleen, she focused on Josh. “What are you going to do at the end of this trip? Are you worried that you don’t have a job to go back to?”
“No.”
