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She coloured hotly and swallowed. ‘I was. I mean, it shouldn’t have happened. It was totally the wrong time of the month.’
‘Obviously.’ There was no missing the irony in his voice and tears pricked her eyes.
‘How can you possibly think I did it on purpose after everything you’ve said about not wanting children?’
‘I don’t know. Perhaps because you seemed determined to reform me.’ He gave a humourless laugh. ‘Get pregnant and then I’ll be forced to stick around and make a commitment.’
Ally shook her head, numb with disbelief. ‘I’m not forcing you to do anything—’
Sean’s eyes blazed with anger. ‘Aren’t you? You say you know how I feel about not having children, about letting them down. Well, if you know all that how come you’re standing there telling me you’re pregnant?’
‘It was an accident…’
He swore under his breath. ‘And pigs might fly.’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake!’ She stared at him helplessly. ‘How can I prove it to you?’
He gave a short laugh and looked at her, his eyes bleak. ‘Well, that’s the beauty of this situation isn’t it? You can’t.’
‘If you trusted me…’
‘Why should I trust you?’
She swallowed hard. ‘Because I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you.’
His jaw tightened. ‘You just have.’
‘No.’ She shook her head slowly, trying to understand the way he was feeling, the reason he was reacting so violently. ‘You’re scared that I’ve trapped you into marriage—’
He made a dismissive gesture. ‘I’m not scared!’
‘Yes, you are.’ She stood her ground, resisting the temptation to back away when she met the full anger of his gaze. ‘You’re scared of commitment and that you’re going to have to marry me, but you’re not, Sean.’
He turned away from her so that she couldn’t see his expression. ‘You haven’t left me much choice, have you?’
‘Sean, I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth!’ The words spilled out and she blinked back the tears that threatened to follow. ‘I don’t want to marry someone who isn’t capable of giving love to me and my baby.’
He turned to face her, his expression grim. ‘Don’t you mean our baby?’
‘No.’ She choked on the word and shook her head. ‘I don’t mean our baby. It’s not our baby, Sean, because you don’t want it. It’s my baby, and mine alone.’
His jaw clenched. ‘You’re going to keep it, then?’
She stared at him in horror. ‘You’re not asking me to—?’
‘Dammit, no!’ He interrupted her roughly, leaning on the back of a chair and sucking the breath through his teeth. ‘No. Not that. But there are other options. It’s not as if it was planned. It’ll totally change your life.’
‘I know how much babies change your life. I’ve got Charlie, remember?’ She lifted her chin and held his gaze. ‘This is my baby and I’m going to love it with every bone in my body, so if you’re suggesting adoption you can forget that, too. I would never give my baby to anyone else.’
‘You don’t know that.’ His knuckles were white as he gripped the chair-back. ‘If the going gets tough you just might bail out…’
What was he talking about? ‘What do you mean, bail out? I can’t bail out. I’m its mother!’
His hard mouth twisted. ‘You wouldn’t be the first. Babies can be hard work. What if it cries a lot?’
Was he talking about his own mother? Was that what this was all about? How could she convince him? How could she ever get this man to trust anyone ever again? If she’d met his mother in the street she would have thumped her, along with the foster-parents who’d obviously done nothing to win a young boy’s trust.
‘You think I’d give it to someone else if it cried? If it was less than perfect? That’s not me, Sean.’ She stared at him, aghast, love and compassion for him swamping her own feelings of misery. ‘You really don’t know me at all, do you? I don’t need this baby shrinkwrapped with a guarantee attached. This baby can cry every night for ten years if it wants to. I’ll still love it and care for it.’
