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He laughed. ‘That’s right, so you did. In that case, you should be grateful for anything.’ He nodded to Mark. ‘Bring it on.’
The waiter delivered a selection of delicious breads to their table and a bowl of shiny olives.
Kat helped herself to an olive and then slipped her hand into her bag and retrieved her mobile phone. ‘I just need to be able to hear it,’ she muttered by way of explanation, ‘in case there’s a problem.’
Josh lounged in his chair, watching her. ‘Is there usually a problem?’
‘I just don’t like leaving him.’
‘You leave him when you’re working.’
‘That’s different.’ She lifted her glass. ‘Working is different.’
‘So you’re not allowed a social life?’
She sipped her wine slowly and then put the glass down on the table. ‘Guilt is part of being a single parent.’ She shrugged. ‘I have to work. It’s a fact of life and I don’t have any choice about that. But the rest of the time I want to be with Archie.’
Except for tonight, when she didn’t want to be anywhere except exactly where she was.
‘You say you have to work.’ He passed her some bread. ‘Doesn’t his father give you any financial support?’
Kat shook her head. ‘When he found out I was pregnant, he ran so fast he left skid marks.’
Josh looked shocked. ‘He’s never seen Archie?’
‘No.’ Kat sat back as the waiter delivered their starters. She stared at the plate in admiration. ‘Wow. That’s almost too pretty to eat.’
‘Almost, but not completely.’ Josh picked up his knife and fork, his eyes still fixed on her face. ‘I can’t believe he just abandoned you.’
Kat shrugged. ‘He’s a man, and plenty of men are programmed to avoid fatherhood at all costs. Unfortunately I picked one of them.’
‘But who looked after you when he was born? How did you manage?’
‘I looked after myself. And I looked after Archie. And I managed because I had no choice. I’m not helpless, Josh.’ She picked up her fork. ‘I do perfectly well on my own.’
She’d been doing it for years and she was used to living that way. She didn’t depend on anyone for anything.
‘By making sacrifices that no woman should have to make and by working so hard that you have black rings under your eyes.’ He looked at her. ‘Don’t think I haven’t noticed.’
Should she tell him that he was the cause of the black rings?
That since he’d kissed her she hadn’t been able to sleep?
‘I’m just a bit tired.’
‘What about your parents? Didn’t they give you any support?’
‘They weren’t exactly pleased when they discovered I was pregnant.’ She stared at her plate. ‘For six years it’s pretty much been me and Archie against the world.’
‘I’m beginning to understand why you’re so fiercely independent. What about men?’
‘No time and no inclination. And not a lot of confidence in my own judgement. Clearly I’m a lousy judge of men.’ She kept her tone light and took a mouthful of her starter. ‘I don’t date. It’s easier that way for everyone concerned.’
The sun dipped behind the headland and the candle in the centre of the table danced in the evening breeze. And from across the table Josh watched her, his eyes glittering in the semi-darkness. ‘If you don’t date…’ His voice was a soft, male drawl. ‘What are you doing here with me, Kat?’
She’d been asking herself the same question. And she looked around now and asked herself the question again. She looked at the pretty candles on the tables. The expensive wine. The couple next to them enjoying a romantic evening. She looked at the harbour and the stars in the sky and the handsome, sexy man sitting across from her. The evening couldn’t have been more perfect.
But this wasn’t her life. It didn’t feel like her life.
