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“I know.” She lifted her head to look at him. “I feel the same way.”
“Yeah? We should have shared that. We could have gone to the gym together and thrown a few punches.”
She managed a small smile. “We could still do that.” And because he was so generous and understanding the emotion flowed over her again, swamping her like the incoming tide. “She didn’t think about me at all. It’s like I didn’t matter.” The words burst out of her and she felt his arm tighten.
“It wasn’t that she didn’t think of you, although I can see why it might seem that way. She was pretty troubled. Your mom didn’t have an easy life.”
“She was married to you. That was like winning the lottery and she, like— I don’t know.” Izzy clung to the front of his shirt, his soaked shirt. “She tossed it away.”
“Some people find it hard to move on from the past. I know you keep a diary. And write a blog.
Did you write all this down?”
“Some of it. Some of it felt too personal.”
“Writing is good. Someday you’ll use the experience. Maybe it will make you understand someone a bit better, or perhaps you’ll use it as inspiration when you write your blockbuster.”
“You think I’m going to write a blockbuster?”
“I think if anyone stands a chance, it’s you. Did you know I bought you your first pen?”
“I didn’t know that.”
“You drew on the wall.”
She laughed. “I bet Mom loved that.”
“She was away touring with the ballet company. I painted over it before she came home and told her I thought it was time we redecorated the kitchen.”
“I guess that was love, too.”
“It was.” He pulled her closer. “And also self-preservation.”
“She was going to walk out and leave Molly and me.” And she couldn’t get that out of her head.
“I’m not going to lie, because if I lie you’ll never trust me again and I want you to trust me. Yes, she was going to leave us.”
“So she didn’t love me. There’s the evidence right there.”
“She did love you. Sometimes evidence can create a false trail. Only the best journalists would take the time to dig deeper. It’s the ‘why’ that really tells the story, Izzy. Remember that.” He sighed. “She thought I’d be a better parent to you than she ever could be. It was the reason she married me.”
Izzy was appalled. “She loved you.”
“She did, in her own way, as far as she could.”
She should have felt agonized that her mother had been prepared to walk out and leave her, but instead all she felt was relief that she would have carried on living with Jack.
“Can I say something to you?”
“Anything. Anything at all.”
“I loved my mom but honestly I think she was batshit crazy.”
He gave a tired laugh. “The best response I have to that is that sometimes people we love do things we don’t understand or even necessarily agree with.”
“Talking about people we love, Flora rowed a boat to the island. Did she tell you?”
“No. She didn’t tell me that. She got in a boat? That must have been— I mean why would—”
