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She tried not to think about Jack, or her dream of being part of his family. She forced it all out of her mind, so she could focus on this one thing.
She was going to do this, alone and quietly, with no one around to talk her out of it.
She was up to her waist now. The water closed around her. She wanted to scream but fear gripped her throat so tightly she couldn’t make a sound.
Just do it, she told herself and tried to summon up the courage.
She was concentrating so hard on taking the plunge that at first she didn’t hear the sound of voices behind her.
They grew louder and finally she heard Molly yelling. Flora, Flora.
A chorus of panicked voices reached her ears and she closed her eyes, frustrated.
She’d intentionally picked a time when no one was around. She hadn’t wanted anyone to witness this. She’d wanted to step into the water alone and sort this out once and for all without any fuss or bother but that wasn’t going to happen. Families, she was discovering, came with plenty of drama. Also, very little opportunity for personal time. It was what Julia always complained about and what Flora had always wanted.
She turned to see Izzy, Molly and Jack charging into the water fully clothed.
What on earth had happened to make them so desperate?
It took a moment to realize she was the source of their panic.
“Flora! Stop. Stop! Don’t do it.”
There was splashing and more shrieking and then Izzy appeared next to her, followed by Molly who thrashed forward in a wild dog paddle like Chase, and then finally Jack.
Flora gasped as she was showered by water.
“You can’t go in the water.” Molly’s arms flailed like an octopus. “You can’t swim.”
Flora wiped her face and then caught the child, worried that she might drown both of them. “I never said I couldn’t swim. I said I hated water. I haven’t swum since that awful day and I wanted to try it. It’s way beyond time.”
Izzy reached her, her wet T-shirt clinging to her body. “You were going swimming? You weren’t—”
“I wasn’t what?”
Izzy swallowed. “Trying to drown yourself.”
“Drown myself?” And suddenly she realized why they’d all raced into the water. “That was never my intention, although given that I haven’t been near deep water for more than two decades I suppose it was always a possible outcome. You may not have noticed but I’m wearing a bathing suit. And I borrowed a pair of wet suit boots because I didn’t like the idea of being barefoot in the lake.”
Izzy gave a little sob and flung her arms round her. “I thought maybe I upset you again. Or my dad made you want to drown yourself.”
Flora didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She actually felt like crying but that was probably because Izzy was hugging her for the first time. Tightly. Holding on. Clinging.
Flora clung back. “You didn’t upset me. And I’m not big on giving life advice, but I would suggest that no woman should ever drown themselves over a man.”
“Are you mad with Daddy?” Molly was clinging, too, her fingers wet and slippery. “I get mad sometimes when he gives me ham. But he does good things, too, and Aunt Clare always says that no one gets it right all the time.”
“That’s true enough.” Flora glanced at Jack who was standing fully clothed and dripping wet behind the children. The look on his face was one she’d remember for a long time. He loved her, she could see that. Whatever he hadn’t said, whatever mistakes he’d made, he loved her. “You forgot to take your clothes off.”
His gaze held hers. He didn’t smile. “I had other things on my mind. I can’t believe you went into the water on your own. Are you crazy?”
“I needed to do it this way.”
“He totally freaked out when he saw you in the water. He wanted to save you,” Molly said sagely. “We all wanted to save you, but you didn’t need saving, so that’s good.”
“Why didn’t you wait?” Izzy pulled away from Flora and tugged at her soaking T-shirt. “If you wanted to swim, I would have come with you.”
“I didn’t know how I’d react. I thought I might flip out and not be able to do it at all. That would have been embarrassing.”
