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Would Jack be expecting a romantic escape with his new friend? What would she think of the peace and calm of the lake?
Where would Clare take her if she needed a city fix?
The home of Beatrix Potter, or Wordsworth, wouldn’t be enough.
She walked into the kitchen, telling herself that keeping his girlfriend entertained was Jack’s responsibility not hers. And presumably he’d be thoughtful about it. He’d have the children with him and Jack was above everything else an excellent father.
She made herself a coffee and took it onto the balcony. As teenagers, she and Becca had brought their sleeping bags here and “camped” in the boathouse. At the time it had been exciting, but Clare had reached the age where she preferred luxury.
The irony was that she wouldn’t have been able to afford what they charged to stay in this place. It always shocked her what people were prepared to pay, but as Todd always said their “normal” was another person’s dream. And it was dreamy.
The reed beds provided a refuge for birds during the winter, and protection during the nesting season. It was usual to see cormorants and ospreys, as well as kingfishers. She watched as dragonflies danced together across the surface of the water, their iridescent bodies catching the light.
Maybe she’d put a bottle of wine in the fridge and persuade Todd to come over and watch the sunset. Or maybe they should spend a night here. They could sleep with the doors open, and breakfast on the balcony before the world was awake. It was her favorite time on the lake, when the surface had a glassy stillness.
It would be romantic.
She could almost hear Becca laughing. Romantic to Becca was Paris, or Rome, not a boathouse on a lake. She’d never understood Clare’s contentment with the small things in life. She’d always wanted the big things.
Clare closed her eyes. She had to stop this. Becca was gone. That part of her life was gone. She should draw a line under it. Yes, there were times when she missed her friend, but the truth was it was their old friendship she missed, not the relationship they’d had in recent years. Todd was right that they’d grown further apart. It had been a shock and disappointment to discover that friendship could change over time. She still remembered Becca grabbing her hand on their first day at school and saying Nothing is ever going to come between us.
But it had. Time had come between them. Time, and all those small life choices that had gradually taken them in different directions.
This was a new chapter. Todd was right. If Jack could move on, then so could she. She’d welcome Jack’s girlfriend into their home and try hard not to think about Becca.
11
Izzy
Izzy was silent as the car trundled along the leafy, winding driveway to Lake Lodge.
Molly had insisted on sitting next to Flora for the journey from the airport, and now she was asleep on her shoulder in the back of the car.
Pain ripped through Izzy. For a year, she’d been both sister and mother to Molly. She’d hugged her, comforted her, held her own feelings inside so that she could support her sister. And then Flora had appeared in their lives.
Why had she agreed to join them? She was either totally insensitive, or totally in love with Izzy’s dad. Neither of those options were good.
Izzy felt betrayed, not only by her father but also by her little sister. She’d held Molly together, and now it seemed she was no longer needed. Like their father she had taken forward steps, moved on, so where did that leave Izzy?
She hadn’t moved on. She was still stuck in the same conf
used, terrified place only now she wasn’t sure what her purpose was. If she wasn’t needed, what would happen?
Her dad threw her a questioning smile. “You’re quiet. Everything okay?”
“Everything is fine.” She’d become so adept at lying, it was a little unnerving. The slow buildup of emotion inside her was equally unnerving. She was terrified that at some point she was going to lose it. It had been a hideous, horrible journey.
What was wrong with her? She should be pleased that Molly liked Flora. She’d read enough books and talked to enough friends from blended families to know that stepmothers could be a nightmare. Flora wasn’t a nightmare in that sense. She was kind. Fun, even. She was good with Molly. Izzy should be relieved, shouldn’t she? Instead, she felt frightened. And a little angry. The nightmare for her wasn’t that her father’s new woman was a horrible person, it was that Flora was so likable.
Glancing behind her she saw Molly slide her hand into Flora’s.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
Izzy wasn’t glad. Right at that moment Izzy hated Flora.
They followed the curve of the drive and there, bathed in sunlight, was Lake Lodge. The front door was almost obscured by a profusion of climbing roses, and Izzy felt her heart beat a little faster because it was all so familiar and yet unfamiliar because this time her mother wasn’t here with them.
She gripped her seat, trying to hold it together. Breathe. Breathe.
