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Clare’s admiration for her grew.
She joined in. “There’s homemade granola, fresh juice, bacon, mushroom and any type of eggs you like. If we’re having an active day, it’s important to eat.”
Izzy checked Molly’s bowl, nodded her approval and spooned granola into her own bowl. Then she added yogurt and berries. She picked up her spoon and put it down again.
She breathed deeply and then turned to Flora.
“I’m sorry I was rude. I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did.” Her voice was clear and steady, and Clare felt pride and pity in equal amounts. Pride that Izzy could do the right thing even when she was suffering, and pity because no child should have to go through what Izzy and Molly had gone through.
Todd put fresh, hot toast on the table. “Nicely said, Izzy.”
“I’m sorry, too.” Flora was generous and genuine. Instinctively she reached out to touch Izzy’s hand, and then snatched her hand back, presumably afraid of another rejection.
“So today Aiden and I are going to take kayaks out onto the lake. And also maybe paddleboards.” Izzy took a spoonful of granola. “You can come if you like, Flora. We have life jackets, and I can teach you.”
Clare felt a rush of love for her goddaughter. It was a perfect gesture. She needn’t have worried. The summer was going to be great.
But instead of looking relieved and accepting with the appropriate degree of enthusiasm, Flora sat in silence.
Clare willed her to speak. Come on, she thought. Say yes.
“That’s a kind offer, but I can’t.”
Izzy clutched her spoon. Color shot into her cheeks. “You’re still mad with me.”
“It’s not that.”
“What then?”
The food on Flora’s plate was untouched. “I don’t like water. I’m not good with water.”
“Oh that’s right. You said you couldn’t swim.” Izzy shrugged. “I can teach you if you like.” It was awkward and uncomfortable to watch, but at least she was trying. “It’s not deep where we kayak. You can pretty much see the bottom as long as you stay along the shore.”
“I can’t.”
Izzy put her spoon down with a clatter. “Because you can’t think of anything worse than spending a day with me.” Her voice soared upward along with her stress levels. “Right. I get it. It’s all my fault for saying those things.”
“No. If anything I’m grateful to you for making me take a good look at myself.” Flora’s breakfast was untouched. “You asked me last night how far I was prepared to go to fit in and it was a fair question. The answer is I’m not prepared to go this far. I won’t do this. I can’t. I hate water. I’m scared of water.”
“Because you can’t swim?”
“Because it’s how my mother died.” The words surged from Flora’s mouth. “She drowned. And I was with her. I haven’t been in the water since.”
Shit, Clare thought, deciding that the occasion allowed for a little silent cursing.
Maybe the summer wasn’t going to be perfect after all.
14
Izzy
“How was I to know? Am I some sort of mind reader now?” Izzy used anger to cover up the fact that she felt dreadful, but Aiden knew anyway.
“You’re not a mind reader. Stop beating yourself up. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine, though, is it? I was rude last night—yeah, I admit it—I lost it and I’m not proud of that.” And Flora had been the one person, the only person, to stand up in her corner. Izzy had been shocked. She was pretty sure Flora herself had been shocked, too. She wasn’t the type to voice strong opinions and contradict people and she’d never seen Flora and her dad disagree on anything until last night. But she’d stood up for Izzy. “Now she probably thinks I asked her kayaking on purpose to make her feel uncomfortable.”
“She doesn’t think that. If anything she seemed a bit grateful to you. Like she’d had an epiphany or something.” Aiden steadied the kayak and Izzy slid into it, feeling it wobble and bob on the water.
