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He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this sooner, Holly.’
‘At first I didn’t want to trouble you,’ she said honestly, ‘and after that I didn’t want to discuss it with anyone. I thought if I ignored it then it would eventually go away. I resigned from my job because I didn’t dare work in an inner-city practice again and I had some time off. I did a few days’ agency work but it never felt right. And then you rang.’
‘Thank goodness I did,’ Mark said grimly. ‘And what happened to the man who attacked you? I assume the police did get him?’
‘Oh, yes.’ Holly’s expression was bleak. ‘It turned out he had a long psychiatric history and he was sectioned. I don’t know the details—I didn’t want to know. I was too busy battling with my own problems.’
‘I can’t believe you went through all this without telling me.’ He put two fingers under her chin and lifted her face to his, his eyes holding hers. ‘If you’d called me I would have come, you know that.’
She nodded and the tears started again. ‘I know. That’s why I didn’t call. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to talk it through without you climbing on that white charger of yours and galloping to my rescue.’
Mark muttered something under his breath and hugged her hard against his broad chest. ‘That’s what friends are for.’
‘Yes, well, I thought I was over it until that drunk today.’ Holly sighed and slid off his lap, walking over to the windows and staring out across the bay. ‘What am I going to do, Mark? I can’t fall to pieces every time I see someone drunk.’
‘Don’t be so hard on yourself.’ His voice was deep and gruff. ‘It’s early days. The scars have barely started to heal.’
‘I don’t know.’ She leaned her forehead against the cool glass, her eyes burning from the tears she’d shed. ‘At the moment I don’t feel as though they’re ever going to heal.’
She heard his footsteps on the wooden floor and then his hands curled over her shoulders and he pulled her against him, trapping her against his powerful frame. ‘You won’t forget, but the memories will fade and you’ll start to feel safer. Maybe we ought to consider putting you through a self-defence course. It might give you confidence.’
She hesitated and then shook her head. ‘I don’t think I could ever fight anyone. When it happened I just froze.’
‘Training would sort that out,’ Mark said steadily. ‘It teaches you to react, not freeze. But we’ll think about that another time. Right now you look exhausted. Why don’t you go and have a long soak in the bath and I’ll bring you some supper?’
Too tired to argue, she dragged herself upstairs and did as he’d suggested, her head thumping from the intensity of her emotional reaction to the events of the day.
Barely able to stay awake, she clambered out of the bath and dried herself before collapsing into the bed. By the time Mark arrived with her supper she was fast asleep.
* * *
It was the dream that woke her.
The same dream that she’d had every night for the first few weeks after the attack.
Only this time the images were intensified. Everything was more colourful, more real, more terrifying.
With a moan of panic she sat upright, her breath coming in gasps as she tried to focus on the room, but almost immediately strong arms curled around her and pulled her back down into the bed.
‘Shh. It was a dream.’ Mark’s voice was right by her ear, his deep tones soothing and very male. ‘I’m right here, Holly, and no one is going to come near you again.’
Her heart still thumping, she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. ‘C-can we put the light on?’ Her voice and body were shaking and his arms tightened.
‘Does that help?’
‘Yes.’
Her chest lifted and fell as she attempted to control her breathing, and he immediately reached out an arm and flicked on the bedside lamp. The soft, muted beam of light spread across the bedroom, making it seem cosy and intimate.
‘Better?’ His voice was still rough with sleep and she tried to fight the irrational panic that chewed away inside her.
‘Yes, go back to sleep. I’ll be fine.’ She ought to be able to handle this on her own. She’d had the dream enough times before.
‘Then why are you shaking?’ He cursed softly as he stroked a warm hand over her quivering limbs. ‘Dammit, Holly, you can’t believe I’d let anything hurt you? You’re in my bed and no one is coming near you—relax. It was only a dream.’
Only a dream—maybe, but it was a terrible dream and so real that it always left her numb with panic.
‘I’m sorry.’ Her trembling intensified and he swore again and rolled her on her back, half covering her with his powerful body, this time offering physical protection from her fears.
